


Broken Birdies Can't Fly

by Unknown_Sociopath



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2017-12-03 07:48:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/695935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unknown_Sociopath/pseuds/Unknown_Sociopath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robin is taken by the Joker and presumed dead. When a rough reunion with his team and family occurs, who will he turn to? And, more importantly, who will he change into? It it too late to change him back?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Clowns (Can You See Me Now?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin and the team get caught on a mission-gone-wrong. As if that is anything unusual.   
> What is unusual is that the Joker now has Robin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Young Justice. I don’t own anything, really.

_ Gotham City _  
_ February 18, 2011 _

Nothing was supposed to happen. The mission was simple. All they had to do was find out who Penguin was meeting with and call the League if it was indeed anything big. It wasn’t to be anything dangerous. That’s why they only sent Kaldur’ahm and Robin. Of course, the rest of the team is hiding around them, ready to help when it went wrong. Because it always does.

“Kaldur, call the team.” Robin whispers as he dropped down next to them from where he had been watching the conversation inside the warehouse. “The Joker is inside”  
  
Kaldur nodded, turning his head away as he turned his comm on. “Team, we know you are here. Miss Martian, link us up.” It was only a second before they could hear M'gann’s voice is their heads.  
  
 _Miss Martian here. Link is up and active._  
  
 _Okay guys, meet at the rendezvous point. I will assume you all know where that is._ Kaldur orders as he and Robin lean against the wall.  
  
 _And here I thought I was the only one who followed._ Zatanna says, clearly amused.  
  
 _I thought the same about me. Apparently not._ Artemis agrees.  
  
 _Can we get to the point?_ Superboy practically growled.  
  
 _Is it past your bedtime or something Supey? You need to relax. I thought we were being sneaky, how did you guys know we were here?_ Kid Flash says quick enough that anyone not used to it wouldn’t understand a word. Thankfully, they have all been on the team for a while.  
  
 _You can’t sneak anything past a bat, KF. You should know that by now._ Robin laughs, doing his signature cackle as the team show themselves. He and Kaldur stand up straighter as their team forms a circle around them. They look at each other and Kaldur nods, signifying that this is Rob’s home, his enemy, and he is in charge for this one. He smiles, though all he can think about for a split second is when he was in charge in the training simulation. He shakes off his thoughts as he turns back to his team.  
  
 _We came here to spy on Penguin. He had a meeting that he kept boasting would tear our team apart. But he is meeting the Joker. This is being stopped, now._  
  
His team looked shocked for a moment at the force behind his voice. They quickly recovered and began to smile. They were again disobeying orders to fight a villain. This is what this team does best. The speedster looks the youngest in their team and asks _What’s the plan, Boss?_

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

Robin sits propped up on one of the rafters going across the ceiling when he realized something was wrong.  
  
They had all slipped into the building easily and worked on cutting off all routes of escape. Those same two men had been talking animatedly just long enough that the team had finished.  
  
Now they both went quiet, smiles slipping onto their faces. It unnerves Robin a little, how perfect their timing was to go quiet. It almost seemed like they were listening to something-  
  
 _They both have comms. They were told that it is time for them to begin something._ Superboy tells him. Robin goes even more alert, watching his enemy’s both begin to look to the ceiling. He moves his spot just before they see him. He has a really bad feeling about this.  
  
“Come out and play, little birdie. We know you’re here.” The Joker taunts, his falsely-sweet voice making Robin feel a little queasy. How many times had he been haunted by that same voice?  The two had been fighting ever since Robin first joined Batman. Sometimes he would win, sometimes the Joker would. When Rob wins, the clown gets locked up, and later breaks out again.  When the Joker wins, Robin usually is kidnapped, and later gets found by Batman. They have played this sick game for years, and Robin is tired of it.  
  
 _Someone call the League, this reeks of a trap._ He quickly sends out, hoping desperately he is wrong. He knows he is right when he hears Kaldur speak calmly.  
  
 _There is no signal on the communicators. We cannot contact the League._  
  
He sighs. There is no possibility that this is a random scheme. They knew word would get back to the League and that they would send the young team to deal with it. _This does not change the pl-_ He begins to tell his team, but he stops abruptly as he watches no less than 100 men walk into the room. They are dressed as if they all were wealthy businessmen, no doubt Penguins goons. How did he not know they were here? Tentatively, he sends out a thought. _Did you guys see anyone come in? Well dressed, probably weaponized?_  
  
He receives negative replies. The men must have already been inside when they got here. He heard Wally’s curiosity get the better of him. _Dude, what’s up? You see someone we didn’t?_ He could tell his friend was only half joking, and that he was kind of worried.  
  
 _Don’t worry, Kid Mouth. Nothing we can’t handle. Just a bunch of guys that are totally not feeling the aster. Team, come to the main room. We are going to fight our way out of here._  
  
Robin jumps down, landing just as Wally speeds into the room. Knocking some people over, he quickly made his way to the small birds’ side. At first Robin isn’t sure what to do. If the rest of the team doesn’t get there soon they won’t be able to fight long. He decides to do what he does best. He talks.  
  
“Hey, I heard you guys were looking for me. Look! I even brought a friend along. Now, when does the party start?” _Where are you guys?_ Superboy should be here by now… he was only a few rooms down.

The Joker starts talking, mostly about how he knew his plan would work and that he knew Robin would be the only one in the room with him and Penguin. Robin didn’t pay attention. He was too busy listening to Artemis.

_We’re all outside the room, except for Kid Flash. Knowing that idiot he is already inside by your side._

_You ready to come in and fight?_ He asks, already knowing the answer. They seemed to know he didn’t need a response, since one never came. Instead, Robin turned his attention back to the deranged clown. “Yea, sure dude. I hope you don’t mind, but I brought a few friends. The more, the merrier, right? I am sure you already know all about them.” As he finished speaking, the door bursts open and his friends came into the room. Artemis’s bow was ready, Miss Martian flew in, Zatanna and Superboy were calmly walking, and Aqualad had his Water-Bearers out and ready.

They were allowed to walk to the middle of the room, where Robin and Kid Flash were standing. The team formed a circle, facing the threats that had somehow moved to surround them while Robin had been talking. This is not good. Not good at all.

Penguin seemed to disagree. “Oh, this is good. The entire team gets to watch each other fall. Oh, it’s Christmas! Just don’t kill the little one or none of you get paid.” Robin wants to wipe that crude little smile off his face so bad it almost hurts. They really need to get a hold of the League.

As the first of the men attacked them, Rob glanced over at M’gann. She was holding herself above the battle, wiping down men that got too close to the other members of the team. He got an idea. _M’gann! Try to telepathically contact your uncle!_ He knew she would know why, and focused back on fighting.

The men were obviously trained in hand to hand combat. Artemis was having the most trouble, since she was at her best with space to use an arrow. Zatanna took over where the Martian left off, striking down those who got too close. Robin was flipping over them, causing them to damage themselves more than he actually hurt them. Superboy, Kid Flash, and Aqualad all were having a simple time, knocking men out without injuring them seriously.

Then Robin noticed a few taking guns out. _Wally, weapons! They have guns, and are about to use them._ He practically shouts inside his head. Thankfully M’gann had left the link up while she called her uncle. Wally began to run around, swiping the majority of the guns off the men within a few moments. But he couldn’t get them all.

A gunshot rang out. The bullet nearly hit the Atlantean, being stopped last minute by M’gann, who was apparently done talking to the Manhunter. Relief flowed through the link, followed by gratitude. _Thank you, M’gann_ Kaldur says, polite as ever.

 _No problem! Uncle says the Justice League will be here in about 5 minutes. Think we can hold them that long?_ She wonders, earning an _Of course, babe_ from the young speedster. Robin doesn’t respond. He looks around his team and wonders about her question. They only knocked out a little over a hundred of the men, less than half, and they were already tiring. Could they hold out for that long?

He sees two figures standing off to the side, watching with amusement. Anger flared up inside him. Slipping out of the battle, he drops behind them. The second he landed, both men turned and began fighting him. He was sure he had been silent, so how did they know he was there? He gasps as he gets kicked in the stomach. Yep, that’ll leave a bruise. Jumping to the side to avoid getting hit again, he nearly runs into the wall. When did they get so close to the wall? Robin wonders as he ducks, causing Penguin to punch the wall. _Guys, could use a little help over here_.

Suddenly he is grabbed, pinned against a thin body that has to belong to the Joker. Once again, he is proved correct as he listens “One more step towards us, and it will be his last few moments.” Robin watches as Superboy takes a step closer, apparently he had been on his way to help, and he gasps as a sharp pain erupts from his stomach. The entire warehouse grows silent as a blade finds it way into the youngest person there.

Wally decided to try next. He began to speed towards his friend, stopping only a few moments later when the knife begins to slide across the small stomach. The knife stopped when he did. They all stood transfixed as blood seeped onto the bright Robin uniform.

 _1 minute away._ M’gann suddenly says. The link! They had all forgotten about it!

Wally took advantage of it while he could. _Robin? How you doing? Pain bad? Oh god it looks bad. It’s not as deep as it looks, right? God, god, god, god ,g-_

 _Wally! He’s not going to be able to answer if you don’t SHUT UP!_ Artemis says loud enough to make Rob flinch. Joker caught on.

“Ah, talking with the mind. If you want to play that way, I wanna play too.” He pushes the knife deeper into the young acrobat, making him cry out, which only makes the psychopath smile wider. “Now, I have what I came for. We’re gonna leave without you following. He gets hurts worse for each time I see one of you behind us. That counts for you too, Penguin. Don’t think I forgot about you screwing me over before. This is my payback.” He began walking forward, towards the door to the basement, all but carrying Robin before him, the knife still pushed into him. Everyone moves out of the way, even Rob’s fellow teammates. There was nothing they could do but watch as the blood leaks onto his outfit faster with every second that passes.

They reach the door quickly, the door being swung shut behind them. Robin isn’t aware of much as he is quickly lifted into a seat. He doesn’t know what they are in, but he does know that he is suffering from blood loss. It’s not enough to kill him, not yet, but it is enough to knock him out. He hears a few messages through the link, and weakly gives his friends a message. _I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. It’s harder than you think to keep a bat locked up. Tell Batman-_

He doesn’t finish his message, swiftly being welcomed into unconsciousness.

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

He watches as door closed, forced to leave his best friend in the hands of his worst enemy. Feeling like a total failure, he turns and walks with his friends to the doors heading outside. Just before they reach the doors, they burst open, revealing a very ticked off Justice League. Shit! They all looked at each other, then at Batman, who was watching the room behind them, trying to understand just what had happened.

 _So, who wants to be the one to tell him that his protégée was kidnapped by his worse enemy and that’s what this whole trap was for?_ He asks his team, really not wanting to have to deliver bad news to the guy who could kill them. He received a bunch of _No’s_ and _Not me’s_ in response. Thankfully, they didn’t have to argue about who it would be, because Batman addressed the only one of them that is actually supposed to be there.

“Aqualad, would you explain to me why I got a call that the Joker was here, what happened to the simple mission I gave you, and why the entire team is here except for the only one who is supposed to be here with you?” His voice was cold, yet calm as always. It caused Kaldur to look at Batman with worry, and say “Perhaps this is a mission best discussed at the HQ”

Batman continues to look at them, and suddenly it seems as if he understands. “Fine.” Kaldur had just opened his mouth to respond when he hears Robin’s voice over the link.

_I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. It’s harder than you think to keep a bat locked up. Tell Batman-_

Tell Batman what? Man, Wally really wished Robin would have finished that thought so they would have something to tell him. But more than anything, he wished Robin was here to explain himself.


	2. Headstrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin gets hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Do I really need these every chapter? Whatever, I own nothing.

_Gotham City_  
 _February 19, 2011_  
  
Robin just stares at the wall. He woke up not long ago, quick to realize he is chained to a wall. The chains seem to be made for him, with no lock on them and he couldn’t break them or pull them out of the wall. Now his wrists are bleeding from pulling too much and he couldn’t care less. He just wants out.  
  
His eyes flick to the door as he hears three pairs of footsteps heading his way, with what sounds like something dragging behind them. The sounds all stop right behind the door, and Robin has a moment of panic. _What will they do to me?_ The moment passes when he hears keys rattling on the other side. Looking around the room again, he takes a deep breath to calm himself. There’s a single white, wooden chair in the middle and a long table off to the side opposite of him. The chair has a chain on each arm and the table is mostly covered by what looks like a tarp, but Robin can still see a few knives and blades.  
  
His eyes snap back to the door as it swings open, and the Joker sweeps in carrying a.... plate?  
  
“You sure took your sweet time waking up. I brought breakfast! I’ll let you eat once your other surprise gets in here. Do you know that you slept through the entire night with no nightmares? I hear that that hasn’t happened in years. How do you like the room?” The clown says, somehow managing to talk the same rate as an energetic speedster. Luckily, he was talking to Robin, who spends enough time around Wally that he could understand perfectly.  
  
Robin smirked. “Well if you want to impress me so much, you could move me to a room with a window. I dislike staring at walls, heave on the dis.” He doesn’t pay attention to the response he gets, instead he watches as the other two men he heard drag an unconscious man towards the chair. The boy wonder frowns. He knows that man, but where from? Suddenly it clicks into place. “He’s a murderer. Killed three children, two men, and one woman. We just put him into jail, why and how is he here?”  
  
“Ah, let’s not dwell on the how. But the why! I will tell you that as soon as we ARE ALONE!” The enemy says, raising his voice at the end. His two men quickly tie the man up and scamper out of the room. As they close the door behind them, the Jokers smile got bigger. He leaned down near the young bats face and continued. “Boy, do you wanna play a game? You see, this man is about to wake up. Then you will choose how he will die.”  
  
Robin raised an eyebrow. “And if I don’t play along?”  
  
“Well then, my dear boy, I will make a choice and whatever I choose will happen to both of you.” As if he knew he was being talked about, Darris Locke stirred, lifting his head and grumbling something about food. Robin watches as Locke opens his eyes, looking straight at the table. He tries to jump up, only to find his arms were locked up with the chains. Eyes never leaving the table, he begins to yell. ”Get me out of here! I swear to god if this is a fucking punishment I didn’t start that fight yesterday! That other idiot was asking to be killed! NOW LET ME GO!!” His voice raised in pitch until in the end when it sounded like a young girls whine. Despite everything, it made Robin chuckle.  
  
The Joker glanced over at Robin with his twisted smile before looking over the trapped criminal.

“What do you think, Robbie, should I cut into his chest or cut into his face?” he mused, strolling over to the case of weapons. He opened it up, revealing a display of unique knives. His fingers brush over the edges before selecting one of the smaller, simpler weapons and waving it over the doomed man.  
  
Robin shook his head. _There is no way I am going to play his sick game._ He thought bitterly, not allowing himself to speak. He watches as the deranged clown walks over to him, placing a hand on Rob’s shoulder while twirling the knife around with the other. His mouth moves on its own, disobeying his mind. He tries not to grimace as he hears himself speak. “What do I think? I think you wear a bit too much makeup. Tone it down a little or you will start looking like those popular teenage girls.”  
  
He could tell the Jokers smile was more forced than usual. “Seems like you won’t choose. Fine I have already made my choice.” He pauses, smiling with less force as he looked between the boy and the man before him. “And I choose both.”  
  
Robin remains still, glaring the madman down as he watched him approach with the knife.  
He braced himself to feel a quick jab tearing into his chest, but it never came. Robin kept his eyes locked on the Joker’s until the mental clown broke eye contact and held the knife up to the boy’s chin. He felt the cold blade trail down his neck and chest tenderly, not making a single scratch on his fair skin. It stopped suddenly, and the Joker glanced up at him for a moment before slipping the knife lightly into his upper left rib cage. Robin forced himself to remain calm, using the skills he was taught while the knife edged its way up and down, forward and back, making tiny marks in the one area as it tore the top layer of muscles. It was a small cut, but The Joker somehow managed to make it seem more than that.  
  
The knife pulls out from the skin and slowly moved up to greet Robin’s face. The flat end brushed against his cheek playfully, traveling up to his bottom eyelid.  
  
“I wasn’t planning on making your pretty face as thrilling as my own, but I did make a deal… where to cut, where to cut… any ideas?” the Joker teased, moving in closer to Robin.  
  
Robin held his tongue for a moment, thinking over the situation. He knew if he didn’t choose an area, the Joker would. If he said eye, there would be a bigger possibility of damage. If he chose cheek, the deep cut could break through and into his mouth. He began to ponder about the lips. That would sting. An idea suddenly sparked, but before he could cry out ‘ear’ the Joker grabbed his dark hair and pulled it up, making the little bird choke. “Can’t decide? I don’t have all day.” he snarled with that wicked smile before plunging the knife sideways into the edge of his lips. Robin’s eyes flew open in sudden shock, sure that the Joker was going to carve in a smile. The knife sawed gently back and forth for a moment, not even making a millimeter of a cut before it turned. Robin instinctively opened his mouth while the Joker’s blade cut down into his lip. The sting hurt like madness and he fought to hold back tears.  
  
It moved slowly down, almost reaching the top of his gums before being taken out. Blood swelled up in his mouth, making him sick. The Joker chuckled and brushed the knife back against his cheek, painting it with the little blood it had on it. 

The Joker swings around and moves over to Locke. “Are you watching, little bat? I suspect you’ll enjoy this…”  
  
Dick keeps his head up, carefully slowing his breath to keep from panicking. He kept his eyes fixed on the Joker, trying to look away from the knife doing the same tortures to the criminal. He hated the feeling of blood seeping through his chest, but he was used to this and trained for it. The lip cut was what bothered him most. He pushed his tongue up against the wound, trying to stop the flow. It was disgusting and stung so terribly. It would only get worse if he didn’t choose the next few tortures.  
  
Locke cried out as the knife stuck into him, thrashing like a child. The idiot should have known that would make things worse.  
  
When it was over, the man whimpered and leaned his head to the side, trying to spill the blood out of his mouth.  
  
“What next… what next…” the Joker taunted, waving the bloodied knife between his fingers.  
  
“You don’t like the cuts, do you? Do you want to try something else?”  
  
“Wait!” Dick called, blood spilling from his lips again, “I’ll choose! I’ll choose!” The Joker seemed a little surprised by this.

The Joker laughed “Shall we cut off a limb or cut out an organ?” 

“Do the… the limb.” Dick stammered, knowing the man’s life was in his hands now,

The man cried out in shock. “You woun-wouldn’t-w…”  
  
Robin swallowed, not wanting to be responsible for a man’s death.  The Joker, however, smiled larger and grabbed a large dagger before sliding to the right side of Darris. In one slightly sloppy motion, the dagger cuts through the skin up to the bone of the criminal’s wrist. With too much enthusiasm, in Robin’s opinion anyway, the clown cuts back and forth across the wrist as Locke screams louder and louder.

The wrist falls to the floor after a few minutes, separated from the arm completely. The man in the chair cry’s and screams for another thirty seconds before he passes out from blood loss. With a sinking feeling, Robin realizes the man before him will die from blood loss.

This discovery was apparently not shared by the Joker, because he dances around the chair in the middle of the room containing his prisoner. “Now kiddo, how should we kill him?”

“He’s already dying!” Robin argues. He already knows he is responsible for this, there is no reason he should dictate the final move. “You don’t have to kill him.”

“Why so serious? I’m just having a little fun.” The clown pouts, crossing his arms _. If he stomped his foot,_ Robin thinks, _he would be a perfect teenage girl._ Joker continues speaking. “Fine. If you are not going to appreciate me, I’m done. Have fun in here, Boy Blunder.”

Rolling his eyes, Robin watches as the door opens and the two men come back in and grab Darris and take him out. Following them, the Joker grabs the hand off of the floor. He turns and waves at Robin with it just before the door shuts.

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

Robin doesn’t know how long he sat there before he heard the chain move out of the wall. It could be for just a few seconds, could be for a few hours. All he knew was that the chain had given him enough room to move. _Why?_ He looks around for a possible answer, eyes stopping when they reached the forgotten plate of food. They want him to eat? It was still the only thing within his reach, and if he was going to be ‘helping’ next time, they would need him to keep his strength up.  
  
Showing he was just as stubborn as his mentor, Robin sat down against the wall away from the food. He would simply not eat. Besides, his friends would be here to save him soon. And the thought of food made him sick after what he had just been through. As if annoyed that he wasn't going to eat, the chains slide back into the wall, maybe a little further than before, jerking Robin with them. He rubs his wrists absently as he stares at the wall. His friends. He lets his mind wander to them, thinking of all the stupid pranks he and Wally would play on everyone at the cave. He went over the past year in his mind, from beginning the team to M’gann’s cooking to their last mission.  
  
Robin drifted off, a smile on his face. Of course his friends would save him. That’s what they did. They save people

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

His dreams weren't as pleasant.  
  
 _He is flying, part of the Flying Graysons. His family is with him, smiling and laughing as they tumble through the air. Dick lands one of the more difficult tricks he knows, nearing the end of the performance. They don’t have a net- They never need one. But as the youngest Grayson turns, he wishes for a moment they did. He can’t do anything as the cords snap, sending both their parents hundreds of feet down, where they crumple. He tries not to cry as he begins to climb down to him parents, watching the blood come from them. He breaks down as the blood becomes to come out faster, somehow covering the floor completely. It begins to fill up the room, and he thinks for sure he was going to drown in his own parent’s blood._  
  
 _He can't help but gasp as a dark figure scoops down and flies away with the young acrobat. Safe from the blood, he looks up and is shocked to see to heads instead of one. The first head was of Batman, while the second was of a billionaire name Bruce. For some reason Dick feels completely safe with this strange man, so he curls into him, gasping again when he is let go of._  
  
 _He falls through the air, only to be caught right before hitting the ground by another man, this one wearing makeup like the clowns Dick has always known. This man smiles at Dick, asking “Can I call you Robin?” Dick opens his mouth to respond, but the second he does there is a knife in his hands and the ocean of blood was coming near him again. He looks up to the man in the makeup again, who in return speaks to him. “The only way to stop the blood is to feed it. Now, feed it this man. Come on, Robin. Kill him.”_  
  
 _And yet another man appears before him, strapped to a simple white chair and pleading with his eyes. Dick hesitates for a second, before quickly striking the man across the throat with the knife. The blood stopped rushing at him. He smiled in relief and turned around, only to walk into a group of teenagers._  
  
 _Suddenly Dick remembers his life with the team and with Bruce, yet he holds no regrets. He killed a man to save himself. Yet his team was still yelling at him, calling him by both Robin and Dick. He looks at his mentors face, hoping to find some sort of love or recognition. Instead he finds hatred. He keeps his voice steady yet loud as he speaks to the team. “I am not Robin. And you know nothing about me. So shut up and leave me alone.”_  
  
 _This strikes a nerve with his best friend. Dick ducks as Wally runs towards him and attempts to punch him. The rest of the team attacks soon after, followed by the Justice League. They were all trying to kill the young bat. Somewhere from behind him, someone stabs him with a long knife. It goes straight through his heart, and all he knows is pain.._  
  
Robin wakes up with a gasp. The dream had been so real... He is sweaty and for a moment contemplates his options for a shower. Very not likely. He groans as the door opens and the same two men as before walk in carrying a chair with a woman already strapped to it. They were followed by the Joker, who grins at Robin. “It’s a new day, Robbie. Let’s see what you choose today.”


	3. You're Gonna Go Far, Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finally giving in, Robin is free. Yet his reunion is not as friendly as he expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own the universe, just the words written here.

_ Gotham City _

_ May 26th, 2011 _

It’s been three months since Robin was taken. Two full months since he started torturing the people the Joker brought him everyday. Two months since he was labeled dead. And only one month since he’s been replaced.

Everyday for the first month he would tell _him_ what to do to them. Then that twisted smile went his way, and the Joker asked him to help. He refused, but was tortured worse every time. He broke, took the knife and started doing what was expected of him. He tried to fight back with the weapons he was given, but he was kept weak and never even managed to hurt his enemy.

The day he made started torturing, the insane clown went out. Rob was forced to watch on a large television as the Joker fought his mentor- his father. The fight was going in the Joker’s favor when Batman started asking questions about Robin. The smile got wider, and that annoying voice started laughing and simply stated “The little birdie? Oh, he’s gone. Killed him just earlier today.” Batman got angrier that Robs ever seen him and soon the clown was off to Arkham.

But did that stop Robin being forced to hurt people? Of course not. Everyday for the next two weeks Harley Quinn would waltz in and the process continued. Two weeks after his capture, Joker escaped and was back with Robin... wherever they are. He watched on that huge television-seriously, how could they possibly have gotten this footage?- as Batman told his team that he was dead. The looks of depression broke his heart. M’gann, Artemis, Zatanna, and Wally had burst into tears, while Kaldur and Conner looked shocked.  He was forced to watch them cry over him more at his funeral with the Justice League. Alfred and Bruce looked absolutely distressed, while Jason cried next to them.

Seeing Jason did bring a smile to his face. Robin could remember almost two years ago, when Robin was home sick, laughing at Batman when he heard the story of the small boy- only a year younger than Robin- stealing the tires off of the Batmobile. He had got three off and was working on the fourth when Batman found him. Jay was taken to the Batcave and managed to find the way up to the manor. He had figured out their identities, and has been training ever since. Bruce adopted him a few months later and he was officially part of the family.

It wasn’t a surprise when Rob was shown a video of Batman and a new Robin fighting Two-Face. But it hurt him, nonetheless. It felt like a betrayal, although he knew that was insane and that they thought he was dead. Throughout the next month, he was constantly shown clips of the second Robin fighting, both with Batman and the team. Needless to say, he knew he was completely replaced.

Robin can tell something is different today when the Joker comes in smiling larger than before. Apparently the victim of the day was a Veronica. It was not a woman Robin can remember ever seeing, but he knew he would never forget her face again. They started with the usual, Joker calling out a weapon and a place, and Robin doing what was demanded. It wasn’t until the woman was panting and near death that he was allowed to stop. Never had he actually killed the person, although he was sometimes told to. Refusing to do that was the only thing he got hurt about anymore, but his mind wouldn’t be able to handle it if he did finish the job.

But, then again, he was so broken he didn’t really have control over himself.

He looked up at the Joker just in time to see him produce a small dagger from his purple suit. They lock eyes, and the painted on smile grew until it looked impossible. Robin didn't have to wait long to hear the voice that would haunt him for a really long time. “Well, Robbie-poo, I think today is the day. You can just take this,” He pauses and kind of hops over to where Rob is standing and holds out the dagger. “and push it either through her neck or her chest. Your choice on which one.” 

Robin eyes the dagger before shaking his head. He lost his voice the day before screaming while being burnt for refusing to kill. He could hear the Joker laughing, but he couldn’t focus on anything but the dagger. He thought about the day before, and knew his body wouldn’t be able to handle anything today. Without even making it a conscious thought, his hands grabbed the dagger and he was once again standing in front of Veronica.

 _Am I really going to go through this? After fighting it for so long? All that pain endured for nothing..._ He thought. He wasn’t surprised when his mind started fighting back. It has been happening a lot lately.

_You have to do this. It could make the pain stop. And you haven’t been fighting it. You gave up the fight two months ago._

He shakes his head no again, but makes no move to hand back the small blade pressed into his hand. Sure that the Joker is laughing behind him somewhere, he looks at his two options. He puts the blade up to her chest, right above her heart. He doesn’t want to see the wound as easily as he would be able to with the neck. Standing there for what seems like forever, his mind keeps battling with itself. The new part and the old part. The old one was the one that was Dick Grayson, worked with Batman, and vowed never to kill. The new one just wanted to survive. It sounded creepily like the Joker, and it usually loses the arguments.

Apparently the burns were too much for him. The new part won the argument, and before he could stop himself, he pushed the dagger as far as it would go into the woman tied up before him. Blood quickly leaves the wound, but the flow was slow. She had already lost a lot of blood.

He could almost hear something inside him break. That was it. The Joker had finally completely broken the bird. He figures now that he has won, maybe he will just kill me. He is so caught off guard by the next thing he hears.

“Well, buddy boy. You just graduated. You think you are ready to go home? Or would you rather stay here with Uncle J? Of course, we would have to move to a larger home. Not enough room here, y’know?” Robin is so confused. ‘Uncle J’ probably goes on for twenty more minutes about their ‘family’ before Robin finally speaks.

“I... get to go home?” His voice is timid and scratchy. J looks at him, a frown appearing for a fraction of a second-probably more for him interrupting than for him not wanting to stay- before the smile goes back into place.

“Of course! Just stay in touch. Maybe you could help me get my hands on the new birdie. After all, he is your _replacement,”_ He says the last word with venom. “and you no doubt want to get revenge for that.” The bad part is, it doesn’t sound like a bad idea. The old part of his mind isn’t arguing. Maybe the breaking he heard was it dying. At least him mind wouldn’t be fighting anymore. He got a major headache from that sometimes. Robin doesn’t say anything more, just stands in shock that he would get to go home.

_Yeah. A home that thinks you’re dead and has moved on. You’d be better off staying here._

Okay apparently his brain didn’t get the memo about the headaches. He elects to ignore the voice and goes back to thinking about his family. His brain wouldn’t leave the fact that they all _had_ probably moved on. They had a new Robin, who says they didn’t have a new Dick too? _Wait, if there’s a new Robin, then what am I?  There can’t be two Robins. Maybe I should become a new hero, separate from Batman. I could be called-_

Robin jumps when he feels a hand on his back, leading him out of the room. He hasn’t been able to leave that room in the three months he’s been here, but he isn’t in the mood to look around. To his surprise, he is led to a shower and there is a pair of clothes nearby, along with sunglasses. He is confused for a moment at the last item, but remembers that he never revealed his identity to the Joker and Harley. They never bothered to take off the mask. The door is shut and locked behind him, leaving him alone in the room with only a shower, his outfit, and a towel. It all seems too... nice.

He ignores his feelings and quickly strips out of his ripped clothing and into the shower. Soon it’s hot and he just stands there, letting the water wash down his body. He had been in that room for three months with no shower or bathroom. He felt filthy, and he was staying there until he felt clean. Numbly he scrubs himself clean. Sometime later, probably about an hour or two, he steps out and dresses himself. Not long after, the door opens and Harley steps in and pulls him out.

He is soon led to a sight he is used to. He is in an old abandoned warehouse by the docks. It is a common place to find the Joker at, which makes him curious as to why Batman hasn’t found him here yet. The Joker is there, crying fake tears as they walk up. Robins not fighting Harley as they walk something that surprises none of them. _Has it really been only three months? It feels like I have been with them for years..._

‘Uncle J’ walked with them towards the door. “Okay Robbie, don’t be a stranger. You come visit your uncle once in awhile. And don’t just come visit to send me to Arkham. That wouldn’t be very family-like, now would it?” For some reason, he has to hold back laughter. _What have they done to me? I would usually be sending him to jail for this. Am I seriously just walking out of here?_

They reach the large doors, stepping outside where, of course, it was raining. He turns towards the two villains and asks “So, if you are my Uncle J, what does that make Harley?” He doesn’t stick around to hear the answer, instead stepping into the shadows and leaving quickly. He just barely could hear the high pitch voice respond to him. “I’m your Aunt Quinn, of course!”

 _Oh yeah, of course. Like it is the most obvious thing in the world._ He thinks with amusement. It doesn’t matter, he will be home soon enough

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

What he didn’t expect was for the Zeta Tube to not recognize him. This, in retrospect, was a really stupid thing to not expect. He had been pronounced dead two months ago, after all. After quickly hacking, he was allowed back into the system and swallowed up by light.

**Recognize: Robin B-0-1**

As the light died down, the first thing he noticed was the silence. It was suffocating. He didn't have to look around to know the team was here. It was a Friday-according to the Joker, anyway- and the entire team always hung out on Fridays. Plus he saw all of them on the Zeta beam history and none of them had left yet.

So where is the noise?

Shrugging it off, he walks towards the television room. He couldn't hear any noise from the TV itself, but he began to hear whispers from there as he got closer. Unable to stop himself, he stops outside the room and listens.

"It cannot be him. He-" That was Kaldur. Are they talking about Robin?

"He's dead! Yes, we know! But they never did find a body. It could be him" Wally. Yes, definitely talking about him.

"Can someone go check? Or are you missing the point that someone just walked into our mountain using our old teammate’s name?" Okay that sounded like Artemis.

"I'll go check." Superboy. Footsteps followed his voice, heading straight towards Robin.

He doesn't move. Soon enough Supey turns the corner to the Zeta beams- and spots Robin. Rob puts on the smirk he uses around the team. "Hey, Supes. Long time no see, huh?" He hears the rest of the people in the television room run towards them, shocked to have heard his voice. He doesn't pay attention to them as his eyes lock with Superboys.

He can just barely register the growl before Superboy attacks him. 


	4. Disconnect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit of a rough reunion...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own a pencil, notebook, and connection to the internet. Do you see Young Justice on that list? Didn’t think so.

_ Mount Justice, Happy Harbor _

_ May 26th, 2011 _

Superboy hits him once before his instincts kick in. He quickly dodges the kryptonian, avoiding being hit again. His body still burned from the day before, Robin just barely notices the table before he bumps into it. _Ouch._ Momentarily distracted by the pain, he accidentally gives Conner control of the situation.

Robin is grabbed and slammed against the wall. He can't help himself, he screams, because the burns are worst on his back. The Joker spent an hour working on it, and it had to be a message or something. But it hurts, and Rob is pretty sure his _friend_ just tore it open. He tries to keep himself from screaming again, but can't stop the whimpering that happens. He watches as Conner raises his hand to punch him-again. Before it makes contact his hand is stopped, being held in place by Wally and Robin 2.o.

"Come on Con, don't do this!" Wally yells, now trying to push him away with his speed to no avail. Conner looks around at the team and back to Robin before dropping the small boy and stepping away. He still looked like he wanted to punch something, but at least he wasn't hurting Robin anymore.

Robin fell to the ground, whimpering and groaning and holding back tears. Nobody stepped to him to comfort him, they just held Conner back. Once the tears stopped threatening him, he lifted his head with a timid smirk. "Hey Miss M. You wouldn't have anything for burns, would ya?" He doesn't miss the way they all jump when they hear his voice, but Megan nods and heads off to the kitchen. Robin follows slowly.

He sits himself on the island in the kitchen as Megan goes through a drawer to find the burn stuff. The rest of the team follows them to the kitchen and stand against the wall as she pulls out a large container of burn cream. Turning back to him, she hesitates before open her mouth and asking him "Is it really you? Are you really... Robin?" He's taken aback by the question, but looks over to Robin 2.o before sighing and sliding his glasses off. "I guess I don't really deserve that name anymore, huh? You guys already have a Robin." He forces himself to smile at Robin before continuing. "However, yes. It's me. But you can call me Dick. At least until I figure out a new name."

He is suddenly tackled by the Martian. She hugs him tightly, making him gasp. She quickly draws back, noticing he was in pain. "I'm sorry it's just that I’m relieved you are alive. Now, umm, where are your burns?" He smiles at her quickly before fixing his eyes onto the ground and pulling his sweatshirt off. His old team gasps at the burns that litter his arms, and he smiles again at the ground before pulling off his t-shirt. Everyone is put into a stunned silence, making Dick uncomfortable. To make the quiet end, he says the only thing he can think of. "Now that someone else can see it, can you tell me what it says? It sure took long enough to be made."

He can practically see the eyes staring at him. Kaldur clears his throat and answers him. "Broken birdies can't fly. Ro- Dick, who did this?"  Dick smiles sadly at the ground again.

"The Joker did. I... refused to do something and this was my punishment. And, before you ask, it just happened yesterday, and no I am not going to tell you what I refused to do. The point is I didn't do it." _Not that day, anyways._

M'gann tried to put the ointment on his back, but was shaking and crying too hard to do anything. Wally took over for her, but due to his panic about the burns, he kept trying to superspeed it, causing Dick more pain. One by one the team tried to help him, but something always happened to make them have to stop, until the only one left is Superboy. He grabs the ointment and applies it to Dicks scarred back. Nobody misses the way Dick flinches away as Superboy approaches, or the way Superboy won't stop scowling. Once all of his burns have been tended to, Dick hears the one thing he is looking least forward to.

"We need to call the League" Of course he can't argue with that, but he doesn't want to face them yet. Obediently he follows Kaldur to the meeting room and stands out of view of the large television. He listens to the television start up, and that sound quickly turns to his mentor’s deep 'Batman' voice. Dick jumps. _Nope. I am so not ready for this._

"Can I help you?" He asks, getting straight to the point as always.

"Sir, we have news you should be interested in." Kaldur replied. _He just called you a piece of news._ His mind taunted him.

"Well, what is it?"

"Rob- Dick? Come out of hiding." He stays there for another moment, collecting his breath until he began to hear Batman growling at Kaldur for 'wasting his time.' He decided then would be as good of a time as ever, so he stepped into view of the shadows. Batman automatically spots him and stops talking, shock written on his face for a few seconds before he shows his usual scowl again. 

"Don't move." He told them, before shutting off the connection. They don’t move as the rest of the team comes into the room. Nobody tries to speak, and the air grows tense for everyone when Conner won’t stop glaring at Dick. After about a minute of it, Dick can’t handle the stare anymore.

“What is wrong with you? You act as if I am the bad guy and not like I just _escaped_ them!” He yells, furious. Conner growls at him, stepping up to him until they were less than a foot away from each other. Dick never lowers his gaze, but he changes his stance so he could fight back if he got attacked again. Conner speaks in a growl, low enough for only him to hear.

“You’re supposed to be dead. We went to your _funeral._ After that, you expect me to accept that you can just walk in here and take your old spot back? You hurt _everyone_ on this team. And do you think I believe they just let you escape? For all I know, you’re working with them.” 

Dick stands there shocked. _Is that what they all think? That I am working with the enemy? I knew I hurt them, but it wasn’t my fault. Why don’t they understand that?_ He watches as Conner stomps out of the room, followed by M’gann who probably knew what just happened due to her psychic abilities. He stares after them, mind racing until he felt a familiar presence in the room.

 _Weird, I didn’t hear the Zeta beams announce him._ Then again, there are probably other ways into the mountain only a bat could know. Dick looks to the corner of the room, where his mentor was hiding in the shadows. He notices Robin watching the shadow also, whereas the rest of the team is still oblivious to being watched and continues to stand there awkwardly.

“Where have you been?” Batman asks voice normal to anyone except a member of the Batfamily. To them, it was laced with worry. Wally and Artemis jump, but the rest hide their reaction. Dick looks around at the team before looking at the ground. He knew Batman would understand. Quickly, the rest of the team is sent out of the room, but Robin stayed. As soon as the people were gone, Batman lowered his cowl, and he became Bruce Wayne. Bruce looked at his son, eyes telling the boy to speak.

Dick sighs. _Where to start?_ He decides to simply answer the question. “Joker had me. Been at the docks for the past three months.”

“How did you get free?”

“He let me out. I don’t know why.”

“Probably decided you weren’t worth his time.” A third voice said. So, Dick was right. His younger brother had taken up being Robin. “After all, everyone did think you were dead!” His voice climbed higher, until he was yelling. _I didn’t come back to get yelled at._

He yells back. “I don’t see how that’s my fault! You guys should have known better than to accept my death without a body to prove it!"

Neither his brother nor his father responds. They both look at him with shocked faces for a moment, quickly putting on an unreadable face. _You see that? They won’t even let you see how disappointed in you they are._ His mind taunts him. _They don’t want their boy wonder back, and you’ve displeased them and now they won’t even show you how they really feel. You’re probably still dead in their minds._ No, that can’t be true. They are his family! They have to be happy he was back.

Bruce looks at him and puts his cowl back on. Now once again Batman, he begins walking towards the door. “We are going home. Robin, Dick, lets go.” Neither of the boys disobeys, and they follow their mentor out the door and down the hallway towards the Zeta beams. Dick watches the ground, embarrassed at his outburst. Sure, he had had fights with both Bruce and Jason before, but it wasn’t their fault this time. If he had anyone to blame, he should be blaming the Joker for this. But somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to hate the villain for this.

Hate him for a million other thing? Easily. But not this. Dick looks up to where he knew there was a camera for the Watch Tower to keep an eye on them, and once again a question crossed his mind.

How did the Joker get the videos of the team in the mountain? Most of the team didn’t even know they were there, yet a Gotham villain did?

They pass through the kitchen on the way to the beams. He can see the team sitting in the television room, silently sitting and watching... static? He knew it was Conner’s favorite show but he usually only watches it when he is the only one watching the television. He looks closer at them, and notices none of them were actually watching it. They are all, one way or another, watching each other. It almost looked like they were talking. Their expressions were changing as time went on.

Dick begins to suspect they actually _are_ talking. His mind quickly reminds him that Conner has super hearing and could hear the conversation, and if a mind link was up at the time then the entire team would know what happened. He quietly slips into the room so he could see all of them. Nobody notices him, as usual, so he looks at Batman, silently telling him to wait just a few minutes. Two minutes pass and nothing happens, so he begins to make his way out of the room when suddenly Wally throws up his hands. “Fine!” he says, “If you all wanna side with Conner, fine. But I’m telling you, I know my best friend. He’s not a traitor.”

Dick is shocked. There were discussing him being a traitor? And they all agreed on it except for Wally? He begins to make his way out of the room again, but is in such a shock that he doesn’t watch where he is going. He runs into the edge of the doorway, making enough noise so that everyone can hear him. Fighting back tears, he quickly runs towards the Zeta beams. He can just barely hear Wally mutter “Good going guys.” and yell “Yo, Dick, wait up.”

Batman had to of known that something would upset Dick, because he had the Zeta beam ready to go. Wally speeds in front of Dick just before he can step through the beam, and begins talking at a speed that makes it just sound like a bunch of letters. Dick quickly looks down, trying to hide his tears, and steps around his best friend into the Zeta beam. Light overtakes him.

**Recognize: Robin B-0-1**

When the light dies down, he can see the Batcave. Jason was already there in civvies. Batman must have sent him ahead. Dick avoids looking at him as he tries to control his breathing and stop the tears. Bruce had no doubt seen that he was crying and should be taking another few minutes to get to the cave. After kind of calming himself down, he looks around the cave. It didn’t change much. His gymnastic equipment is still where it always was. The only difference is a large case against a wall. Dick walks up to it, and see’s his uniform inside it. 

It was in a spot where you could see it from virtually every spot inside the cave, and he knew this has to be a sort of memorial for him. For his death. Ashamed once more, he turns away from the case and hears the Zeta beams announce Batman’s arrival. A few seconds later, the entrance to the manor opens up and Alfred walks in holding a tray of cookies and a cup of coffee.

With his back to Dick, he walks to the computer and sets the stuff down. “Master Jason, I had believed you would be staying with your team this weekend.”

Jason smiles for a second before responding. “I was supposed to, Alfie, but something came up.”

“And might I ask what was so important?”

“Right behind you.”

Alfred turns slowly with a skeptical look on his face. The second his eyes spot Dick standing in front of his uniform, his eyes betray his shock. He stares for a moment, before speaking once more. “Master Richard, what have you gotten yourself into this time?”


	5. Second Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: If I owned YJ, do you really think I would allow it to be cancelled?

_ Wayne Manor, Gotham City _

_ May 26th, 2011 _

_"Master Richard, what have you gotten yourself into this time?"_

"It's nice to see you too, Alfred." Dick smiles at the elderly butler. Knowing he still needs medical attention, he heads over to the medical room of the cave. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Bruce walk over to Alfred and begin talking. Dick shakes his head, positive that they are speaking about him.

Once he gets to the medical room he sits on the small bed. The small room hasn’t changed at all. Still there is equipment that Dick only knew half of lining the right wall, some in drawers and some on the table near the bed. The stuff near the bed has obviously been used more recently than anything else. On the left side of the bed there is a chair pushed against the wall, and there is enough room on all sides of the bed for someone to work on anyone hurt. Dick and Bruce had planned for years to make the room itself bigger so they could put another bed in there, just in case both of them got hurt badly enough in the same night, but they never got around to it.

He glides his hand across the sheet, reliving memories of all the times he got hurt on patrol or on a mission and ended up here, with either Bruce, Alfred, or Jason sitting in that chair. Sometimes they would talk, or sometimes they would just sit in silence. It was their family’s way of saying they were worried or that they cared about you. They all did the same to Bruce when he was injured, and they no doubt have done it to Jason since Dick was taken. _How many times has he ended up in this bed in just the past month?_ He wonders.

Dick’s mind begins to swirl with numerous questions and concerns, about his younger brother. He couldn’t see what was happening around him. The thoughts plagued his mind and drilled at his skull, making his heart race and his head pound. He didn’t see the man walk in the room. He didn’t feel the comforting touch of the butler’s hand on his shoulder until he finally snapped back to reality.

“Master Richard?” Alfred murmurs softly, giving the boy’s shoulder a soft squeeze. Dick quickly looks up at him, his eyes wide, and then tenses and looks down. “Alfred. Hey…” he breathes, looking back at the familiar face.

Alfred looks down at him for a long while, examining his expression before kneeling down beside Dick. “I’ll tend to your wounds,” he speaks calmly. Dick flinches nervously, but nods his head and takes off his shirt and sweatshirt with some difficulty, displaying the scars, burns, and cuts from his time with The Joker. For a moment Dick believes he can see sadness flash across the mans face, but it is replaced by a blank mask that he used often back when Dick first became Robin and Alfred didn’t want to scare him by making him worried about his injuries. As he grew up, Alfred would put on that blank mask less and less, and to Dick it meant that Alfred knew he wasn’t going to break.

_Does the return of the mask mean he thinks I might break?_

“Alright, this may sting a little,” Alfred said lightly and reached for the materials. He grabbed a cotton swab and a bottle of hydrogen-peroxide solution and carefully poured some over the cotton. Alfred gently dabbed at the cuts and burns, avoiding more serious areas and tending to the smaller ones. It stung bitterly, but Dick forced himself to ignore the pain as he had been for so long. After he used the disinfectant, he tossed aside the sickly colored cotton and reached for the Neosporin to tend to the burned areas.

“I take it the team knows you are back?” Alfred inquires, glancing over one of the larger burns on his chest. “Yeah. They are just _thrilled_.” Robin mutters in response, looking away from him as he tended the nasty wound.

“I’m sure they are glad, Master Richard.” Alfred murmurs, looking up at Robin’s blue eyes. “They were probably just in shock back then. They must be excited to have you back. They have missed you dearly.” As he spoke, he gently placed some gauze over the larger burn wound, making sure there was not much pressure applied to it as he placed it on.

 _Sure. That’s why they all think I’m a traitor._ Robin thinks bitterly, looking away from the butlers gaze once more.

Alfred works in silence for a little while longer, finishing off his bandaging. “Alright, now your back.” he says, “could you turn a little for me, Master Richard?”

Dick nods and shifts so that the butler could have a better look at the injuries on his back. Alfred reaches out to grab the disinfectant again but freezes suddenly, his arm stopping before his hand even grasped the bottle.

“Broken birdies can’t fly…” Alfred breathed, his voice coming out a little hoarse. Dick tensed, looking down nervously. “I’m so sorry, my dear boy.” Alfred whispered, brushing his thumb carefully over the burn. Dick blinked, feeling rather numb. He didn’t know what to say. 

Alfred finished patching Dick up in silence. It didn’t take too long for him to complete his work.

“Are there any other injuries I have missed, Master Richard?” he inquired.

“No.” Dick sighed, carefully stretching out his arms. 

“Is that the truth?” Alfred asked with a reassuring grin.

Dick smiles again, remembering the one time he told Alfred he was fine and ended up having a fractured wrist. Since then, the butler asked him multiple times if he had any other injuries besides the ones already treated. “It’s the truth, Alf.”

Alfred chuckled lightly at the familiar nickname. “Okay, thank you.” He stood up to exit the room, then paused at looked at Dick. “Oh, and Master Richard… I am very glad to see you again.” He begins to walk out of the room again, but pauses by the door. “Dinner will be ready soon. Make sure you are washed up beforehand.”

Dick looks down. “Thanks Alfred, but I’m actually not hungry at the moment.” He could eat, but his stomach is feeling sick with everything that has happened today.

Despite the usual calmness, Alfred frowned in concern. He probably thought it had to do with Dick seeing Bruce again. They hadn’t so much as looked at each other since entering the cave. “I could have something brought up to you, if you would like.” he offered lightly.

“Sure thing Alfred. But it can be later. I’m really not feeling up to eating at the moment.”

Alfred nodded slowly. “As you wish. If there is anything you would like to talk about, anything at all, you can talk to me.” he said quietly before exiting the room and leading him up to the manor. Dick didn’t know how to respond to this. He didn’t know what he would talk about anyway. Would he be able to talk about the months of torturing people? Not to Alfred unless he would want Bruce to find out. And Bruce finding out is the last this Dick wants at the moment.

The two part ways once they pass the living room, where Dick heads up the stairs to his room. His room is in one of the lesser-used parts of the house, since those are the area’s that party guests would not usually bother to walk to. It takes the teen about five minutes to arrive at his room, where surprisingly nothing has changed. He had assumed that, while they believed him dead, they would have cleared his room but everything is exactly how he left it.

He flips on the light and suddenly he is ambushed by emotions. It seems as if he can feel everything from joy to sorrow. He sits down on the edge of his bed, trying to calm himself before he has a mental breakdown.

 _It’s not like anyone would care if you did break down. For them it would just be the extra reason to get rid of you._ His mind taunts him.

Dick’s hands shoot up to cover his ears, as if protecting himself from a loud noise.

 _No one cares anyway._ The jeering voice says to him, sounding like a thousand people at once. He urges the noises to go away desperately, not wishing to hear them taunt him again.

_They wanted you to stay dead. This is what they have been yearning for, and now you’ve messed it up for them._

But some of them were happy to see me.

_They are lying. Why would they want you back for any other reason besides being another soldier?_

Is that all I am to them? Why don’t they see me as me? Maybe things would have been easier if I had just stayed dead. Dead, dead, dead. I’m sure that’s what Conner wants.

_Conner never wanted you alive. From the moment you got him out of that pod he has hated you. He would’ve left you to die many times if he didn’t want to stay on the good side of that Martian. He wanted to leave you the first day he met you, rescuing the other two. If you hadn’t gotten yourself out of there you would still be there. Alone._

“No! That’s not true!” He whispers, trying to convince himself more than anything else. “He’s not that cruel! Kaldur and Wally would’ve gotten me out either way. They care about me.”

 _Leave them!_ They scream, _They don’t want you, no one wants the baby birdie, leave them leave them leave-_

“Go away,” he mutters to no one in particular, closing his eyes tightly. The noise becomes louder, each hidden voice slamming against his skull and filling his head with poison. He hates it. He hates it so much.

_Do you want to leave them? Why not? Are you afraid? You don’t feel fear. You have been trained to erase those emotions. Fool._

“Stop.”

_You are a traitor._

“Don’t…”

_You abandoned them._

“Please.” He was begging now. He didn’t even know what he was begging for; he just wanted this to stop. 

Dick hears a  light knocking that doesn’t seem to belong with the blaring noise that is echoing through his head. He snaps his eyes open just in time to see the handle on the door turn. Quickly he attempts to compose himself as the youngest member of the house walks in with a blank face and a plate of food. “What are you begging for, Grayson?” At that, the noises begin to die down. But the pounding never stops.

“Nothing, Jay. I’m the only one here, what could I possibly be begging for?”

“You tell me. You’re the one that was just saying please, not me.”

Dick looked down, unsure what to say. He wasn’t about to admit what was happening to his little brother, even if Jay is only a year younger.

“What do you mean?” he asks, widening his eyes with an innocent curiosity.

“Fine Dick. Keep your little secrets. It’s not we’re _family_ or anything.” The boy replies angrily.

Dick glared at him, trying to hold back the sudden fury that’s inside him. “Lay off it, Jay.” he growled, snapping his gaze away. “You don’t have any clue as to what’s happened.”

“Well we would know what has happened to you if you decided to talk to someone instead of hiding in your room! Bruce and Alfred are worried sick about you! Yet neither will actually come up here and confront you like they think you will break!”

Something inside of him suddenly snaps, and Dick stands up, only slightly taller than the younger boy. “Worry? Why would they worry about _me_? Break? _Break?_ I am NOT broken, I am fine, do you hear me, Jason? _I am not broken!_ ”

Jason doesn’t so much as flinch at the outburst, standing his ground. “That’s not what your back says. Broken birdies don’t fly, am I correct? It’s obviously talking about you. Nobody thinks you are going to fly again. Nobody!” He growls in barely suppressed anger.

Dick began shaking again. How did he know? He sat back down, feeling far sicker than before. Jason was right. Nobody believed in him anymore. He was still dead to them. Worthless. Jason leaves the room, probably headed off to the gym to punch something.

Dick has to get out of here. He can’t handle staying here at the moment when everyone knew he was broken. He had to leave before they can find out just how broken he is. Quickly he grabs his batarangs and sunglasses and walks over to his window. He props it open climbs onto the sill, ignoring the way his injuries are protesting. Sure, he was on the third floor. But he made an easily escapable route out of this window for when he was injured and couldn’t use his grappling hooks to swing his way out. He climbs down, enjoying the feeling of fresh air.

He’s spent a long time without it.

Once he reaches the ground, he heads towards the garage on the other side of the house. He moves with the shadows, knowing that if anyone were looking they wouldn’t be able to see him. Finally he reaches it, quickly picking the lock holding the door shut and sliding inside. He looks around at the vehicles he has become accustomed to seeing. There are at least a dozen priceless sports cars, two limos, and four motorcycles.

Dick moves to the motorcycles, knowing he still doesn’t have a license to drive one. He doesn’t have a license to drive anything, yet he knew how to drive all types of cars, boats, or motorbikes. He was learning to pilot before he was taken.

He jumps on his old bike and throws the helmet on while pressing the button that opens the doors. He turns on the bike, nearly silently, and speeds off of the property without a clue as to where to go.

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

Mount Justice, Happy Harbor

Wally watches as his not-dead best friend disappears with tears in his eyes through the Zeta beam. Royally pissed off, he speeds back to the television room where the team is still sitting. Seconds later, Batman storms into the room, glaring at all of them. “I do not know what just happened to make him like that, but you will not be treating Dick any different now than how you did three months ago! Understood? And you will apologize for what happened here.” He growls.

M’gann, Zatanna, and Artemis quickly mutter something along the lines of “Yes sir.” Kaldur nods and looks down, ashamed at not defending his teammate. Conner glares back at the bat before speaking. “He’s not the same person he was months ago. That person’s dead.”

Batman grabs him by the collar and slams into the wall, hissing something that Wally cannot hear. It must work the way it was supposed to, because Conner goes pale and nods. The Dark Knight turns to Wally, glaring at him. Wally only slightly flinches at the glare, but doesn’t say anything. He gets glared at for what feels like forever for the young speedster before the Bat gives a small nod and exits to room.

“Wha- why didn’t he make you agree?” Zatanna sputters.

“Yeah that is totally not fair!” Artemis complains, as she so often does.

“Maybe it’s because I tried to talk to Dick before he left and the fact that I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG!” Wally responds, voice rising as his anger does. “This is all your guy's fault!”

“You’re the one that spoke out loud, Baywatch! If you wouldn’t have done that he wouldn’t have known!”

“He’s a Bat! He would have found out what you _all_ think about him anyways! And he would have been even more crushed that you kept it from him!”

“Stop fighting.” Kaldur intercepts the fight. “We are all to blame here. We assumed he is a traitor without any proper evidence.”

Suddenly they are all talking at once

“He has been dead for two months. Suddenly he hacks his way back into our base, doesn’t tell us exactly what happened to him, then he tells Batman the enemy just ‘let him go’. What more evidence do we need?” -Conner

“Whoa! What do you mean we all assumed? I argued with every single one of you about it!” -Wally

“I only said it was a little suspicious! I never said he was a traitor!” -Artemis

“I didn’t even say anything! I don’t agree that he’s a traitor!” -Zatanna

“Conner does make some valid points, though. How do we know we can trust him after this? -M’gann

“Quiet!” Kaldur yells. The room automatically becomes silent. “Good. So, we all don’t think he is a traitor. However, we all did say we have suspicions about him one way or another except for Kid Flash.” _Oh great._ Wally thinks. _He started using hero names. This can’t be good._ “And he did alert Dick to what our conversation was about, although if he did not Dicks attention would have possibly been much crueler than the truth. We are all to blame. And we all must apologize to Dick.”

At that the yelling starts again, both stating that they did nothing wrong (Wally and Zatanna) and that they won’t apologize without having a better reason to (Conner)

**Recognize: Red Arrow B-0-6**

None of them notice the Zeta beams go off except for Conner, who doesn’t acknowledge it. Roy coming to the cave has been a much more common occurrence since Dick ‘died.’ He never gave a reason for coming, but they all knew it was to check on Wally. They were the two closest to the little bird, and it hurt them most when he left.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Roy yells, now standing in the doorway to the television room. Nobody jumps at his voice; they are all too wrapped up in their own emotions to care about a new person being there. Wally quickly speeds to Roy’s side, wrapping an arm around the older guy’s shoulders.

“Both good and bad news, bro.” He says, a vindictive smile making its way to his voice. “Good news, Robs not dead and he trusted the team with his secret ID. Did you know he was Dick Grayson?” Receiving a nod and the beginning of a smile, he sighs and continues talking. “Bad news, these people called him a traitor and made him run out of here crying. See ya!”

As he runs off, the team stands shocked. They had made Dick cry? The boy had always just shrugged off any insults headed his way. Whatever happened to him had to have been horrible to make him show that much emotion in front of his team. Then again, would anyone be able to handle being called a traitor by the team they had been with for over a year and they considered family.

They all snap out of their shock when they hear a growl from Roy. Before they could even do anything, they found out why Wally had run away.

They also learned not to mess with Roy's family. He even managed to get his hands on some kryptonite to hurt Conner with. None of them stood a chance.

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

Gotham City

He had been driving around for the better part of an hour before he finally stops. Not bothering to look around, he climbs off the bike and turns it off. _Might as well walk around a bit now._ He thinks, sliding his glasses over his eyes. It’s not like he has anything better to do. The pounding in his head goes down quite a bit and Dick smiles because of it.

“Ooh Bird boy! You’re back already!”

The voice makes him growl, and he looks around, finally taking an interest in where he ended up.

He’s back at the docks. Go figure.


	6. Hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I’m not saying it again. Nope.

Wayne Manor, Gotham

May 27th, 2011

About 12:30am Bruce and Jason get back from patrol. Bruce can tell something is bothering the boy, but he figured he would talk about it if he wanted to. The few people they crossed tonight were beaten more roughly than normal, but altogether it was a slow night with no injuries for the two vigilantes. It was surprising that is was so quiet, especially considering the Joker was still out there. They head out of the Batcave after changing out of their uniforms. 

No, Batman was going after him as soon as he knew exactly what happened to his little bird.

The two vigilantes head towards the bedrooms, Jason to his own and Bruce to Dicks to check on him. Bruce had instructed Alfred to not bug Dick today, not when everything is so fresh in his mind. Stopping outside his wards door, he listens through the wood. He doesn't hear the movements indicating that Dick was having a nightmare, but he also cannot hear the sound of breathing. Suddenly alarmed, he briskly enters the room, eyes taking in everything. Nothing is broken, the window is shut, and there are no signs of a struggle.

But still there is no bird in the bed.

He scans the room again, trying to figure out where Dick could be. The only thing that is different about the room is the tray of untouched food sitting on his desk. He remembers Alfred sending Jason up with it earlier, before patrol. _Maybe Jason will know something._ He swiftly heads to Jason’s room while trying to calm his racing heart. He just got his son back, is he really losing him again?

He enters his youngest son's room, not bothering to knock. Jason’s changing, shirt still off and sweatpants hanging onto his hips. He looks at Bruce with narrowed eyes. “What the hell Bruce? You can’t just barge in here like you own the place!”

"What happened with Dick?"

The boy visibly flinched, but didn't look away from his mentor. "Nothing. We talked, and I stormed out. How is that any different from normal?" He adds the last part bitterly.

"Jason. Dick is gone. I need to know this"

He sighs. "Fine. When I walked up I heard him muttering. I didn't catch much of it, but I caught a please at the end. I walked in and asked him about it, but he denied it completely. Acted like it never happened. Lied straight to my face. After that we started arguing. I left."

"Arguing about what?"

"I may have brought up his 'message' on his back. Said everyone knew it was true. I swear, I didn't mean to. He is just so obviously broken and it scared me. What if he doesn't get-"

"Better? Master Jason, you cannot always take your fear, or the fact that you care about someone, and transfer it to anger. Master Richard needs his family's help now more than ever." Alfred interrupts, standing in the doorway with a grim look on his face.

“I know, Alfred. I just can’t help it. And do we know where he went?”

“No, we don’t know yet. But we can probably track him.” Bruce states. No emotion in his voice to any normal person. But the bats are not normal, and they alone could hear the strong worry. He turns and walks to the door, where Alfred is still standing. Stopping next to the butler, Bruce allows a small smile on his face as he looks back at his son. “And I do own the place. I can go wherever I want.”

On that note, he exits the room and heads down to the cave to track his other son.

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

He stares at the computer in shock. Dick’s bike was at the Docks. Why did he go there?

What is going on with his son?

Then again, Bruce knows that being isolated by nearly everyone could have pushed him away. 

The team has not heard the end of this. But first, he must get his little bird back.

Again.

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

The Docks, Gotham

Harley stared down at Dick with a sly grin, examining him closely with her masked eyes.

Dick frowned in response, returning the glare. 

“What do you mean by that, exactly?” he growled, narrowing his eyes. She hopped down next to him gracefully, the smirk on her face never failing to disappear as she did.

“We knew you would be back. We just _assumed_ that it wouldn’t be the same night you walked out of here.”

Dick bit his bottom lip, looking down. “Why would you think that? I didn’t come back purposely. I was just out for a ride.” _Was that the truth_? he thought shamefully.

Harley’s grin widened even more, her eyes flickering like there was a secret only she knows.

“What is it?” Dick spat, stepping closer to her. She looks up, feigning innocence and clutching a hand to her chest.

“What? Don’t trust me now? And here I thought we were family.” She skips closer to him; ignoring the low growl he lets out, and wraps an arm around his neck. “Say, Robbie. You hear anything unusual lately?” He stiffens. How could she know that? There’s no possible way. He forces his body to relax. He slides out from under her arm, grabbing it as he flips behind her, and holds it against her back. He forces his smirk onto his face.

“Nope. Nothing for me. It’s kinda been a slow night. Guess that’s what happens when you come back from the dead. Oh, and I am not Robin anymore. That name has been taken. Call me whatever you want until I make myself a new name. Just not Robin.”

“Aww, hurt about being replaced aren’t ya? You could always use puddins’ old name Red Hood. I doubt he would mind.”

“No I think I will pass on that one. Maybe the next person you fail to kill will take it. Speaking of the Joker, where is he? He should be out here by now.”

“Oh that!” She giggles. “He’s out getting the commissioner tonight. Got bored without you around. He might even be getting the daughter while he is there too!”

Barbara! She was one of his only friends from Gotham Academy. She must believe he is dead too, but did Bruce tell everyone in their civilian life that he was dead? Joker never showed him anything about it, but the Joker also doesn’t know his secret ID so he wouldn’t have believed it would affect him. But it would be a little suspicious if Dick Grayson were to die the same time Robin did, especially since they were both gone for a month before.

Dick shoves Harley away from him and runs back to his bike, jumping onto it and starting it as fast as he could. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He shouldn’t have come back here. He should’ve checked and made sure his friends were safe. Turning on the comm. on the bike, he contacts the Batcave.

“Master Richard? I do believe Masters Bruce and Jason are out looking for you.”

 _Great. That means he tracked the bike and is coming to get me._ “Alfred, you need to call them. I got information that the Joker is going after the Commish and I hate to say it but I can’t take him down by myself.”

“Indeed. I will tell them. Be careful.”

Dick turns off the comm. and focuses of where he is going. He could make it to Barbara’s with his eyes closed, but what if they’re not there? He has to stay alert to see if he could find them in any places he passed, but it is hard to see when you are going top speed and he doesn’t dare to slow down until he gets to the house. 

Not even five minutes later he arrives, hating what he can see. The door is wide open with a smiley face and a question mark drawn on it in red. He slows the bike to a stop and jumps off with a flip, running into the house without a second thought. Instantly he hears the sound of psychotic laughter bouncing off the walls, and he follows the sound to the living room, where he can hear the soft sound of crying. Dick glances around the corner and spots Barbara and her father tied together in the middle of the room, with a broken TV on one side and an upturned couch on the other. There must’ve been a fight, probably from both father and daughter since Barbara is a black belt and the Commissioner is a cop.

A movement in the shadows outside a window in the room draws Dick’s attention just before a small body crashed through it. Robin was here, and Batman was surely close behind. The Joker looks at the intruder before laughing. “Hey, I have a new Robin to play with! Where’s Batsy?”

Robin growls and jumps forward, landing a punch on the clown. “I am not your play toy. And neither was my brother!” He attacks again when the Joker laughs once more. While the Joker was distracted, Dick slips into the room and begins to cut the bonds holding the Gordon’s. Once he got them free, he led them by the arms out of the room. The Commissioner looks at him curiously, but only says thank you before walking a few feet away to call in the police. Barbara stayed focused on him, and he quickly grows nervous. If anyone can ID him with his glasses, it’s her. Her eyes grow wide with recognition, and he groans and steps close to her.

“Come to the Manor tomorrow and I can explain. But don’t tell anyone.” He whispers into her ear, receiving a quick nod in return. He turns away from them and runs back to the living room, where Batman was handcuffing a laughing Joker and Robin was sporting a new cut to the stomach. He receives a scowl from both of them, but that is to be expected after what has happened. He looks to his previous mentor, silently telling him that he is going back to the Manor before anyone shows up and asks questions, and turns and exits once he gets a stiff nod in return.

Dick gets onto his bike and turns it on, scowling when his mind taunts him again. _She’s going to hate you for keeping this secret. She’s gonna wish you were dead just like everyone else does. Give up._

He heads off down the road. No, giving up is not something he does.

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

Wayne Manor

Bruce pushes his cowl down once he returns to the Batcave. Commissioner Gordon had questioned him about the boy that got him out of the room, and he hadn’t answered the questions at all. Robin was injured, and they had to get back.

Alfred led Jason to the Med bay while Bruce got changed and headed upstairs to see Dick. He listened outside the boys room again, and he quickly entered the room once he heard Dick muttering. It’s dark, and the acrobat is on the bed sleeping restlessly. “No. NO. Shut up. You’re wrong. Nu. Don’t kill them. I can’t.”

He sits on the bed and pulls the little bird closer to him, talking quietly to him like he has done so many times before. Usually Dick curls into him, relaxing a little and waking up. This time, he pulls away, curling into himself and away from Bruce, and starts crying softly. Bruce tries multiple times to comfort his ward, but each time the boy just gets more distressed. Sighing, he gets up and exits the room, closing the door softly behind him.

His little bird is hurting and won’t let anyone help him.

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

_The voices won’t leave him alone, even in his dreams. They taunt him as he watches his family fall. They laugh at him as he is forced to do what he swore he would never do. They encourage him to kill again._

_He won’t do it._

_When he refuses, they attack him. How voices can attack him, he doesn’t know. It makes no sense, but he can feel the pain as they stab at him. From somewhere he can hear Bruce talking to him, but he can’t make out what he is saying and it makes him start crying. The tears make the voices laugh at him again, calling him weak and useless. Telling him he is better off dead._

_No. He can help people by being alive. He’s helped people before, he can do it again._

_The Joker steps out from the shadows in front of him. “That’s right, Boy Blunder. You can help me.”_


	7. Breath of life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: You should be glad I don’t own the show. Actually, you should be glad most writers don’t own the show. We enjoy the pain of our characters far too much.

Mount Justice, Happy Harbor

May 28th, 2011

“Dude, we have to go see him!”

“Wally, Batman wouldn’t let us visit him even if we tried.”

“But Roy...” Wally whines, holding out the ‘o’. “Dick is out brother. We _need_ to see him.”

Roy sighs, throwing his hands into the air. “What do you want me to do? If we just show up at the cave Bats will skin us alive.”

“You could call Batman and ask him if you could go over.” M’gann mentions lightly from her spot in the kitchen. None of the others had excited their rooms yet, or if they did they were avoiding Roy and Wally. “If it is truly for the benefit of Rob- I mean Dick, then he should accept.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Roy scoffs, “we can’t just call Batman asking for permission to enter his cave.”

“Why not?” M’gann questions, and Wally just knows that if he could see her then he would see her head tilted to the side like people do on TV when they are confused.

“Well, he... he’s Batman. He’s The Batman.” Wally stammers over his answer. 

“Uh-huh.” Yep, she’s not convinced. Wally and Roy look at each other, both opening and closing their mouths as they try to figure out a reason why they can’t just call the cave and demand to go over there. Okay, maybe not demand. Wally would probably end up begging while Roy stands and glares in the background. 

After about twenty seconds Roy shrugs and heads towards the computer. “What are you doing?” Wally demanded, speeding after the former sidekick. In response he was given a look that blatantly stated ‘What the hell do you think’ before Roy was pressing buttons on the keyboard. Before Wally could even argue to what was happening, the big bad Bat was on the screen.

“Yes.”                                                                                                                 

And just like that, the connection was cut off, leaving both boys in shock and confused. Wally recovers first. “Wait, did he mean we could some over? How would he even know what we were going to ask?”

Roy manages to pull himself together and he briskly heads towards the Zeta Beams. “There’s only one way to find out.”

**Recognize: Red Arrow B-0-6, Kid Flash B-0-3** **  
**

As their identification rings out across the cave the two boys step out of the light. The Batman and Robin are in the gym nearby them, neither looking up to address them. Wally looks around quickly, resisting the urge to run around in search of _his_ little bird. Nothing has changed since the last time he had been there, which had been the night before Dick had been taken. He and Roy come to the conclusion that Dick isn’t in the cave at seemingly the same time and they head up to the Manor in silence.

After walking for a exceedingly long amount of time -especially for a speedster- they finally made it to Dicks room. He would’ve speed the entire way, but Roy would hate to be left behind, and there is no way Wally is carrying him, and Alfred made a rule back when him and Dick first became friends about no speeding in the house and you do not break one of Alfred's rules. Wally stands outside of the door for a moment trying to figure out what to do before Roy pushes past him and slides the door open. For a moment he allows himself to speed inside the house, and runs ahead into the room, eyes scanning around for his little brother before spotting him on his bed, clutching his head and curling his body into itself, making him look so small and vulnerable and _broken_ that it’s heartbreaking.

“Hey Dick.” Roy announced their presence with the two simple words, but the words are enough to make Dick to nearly jump out of the bed. Wally frowns. Dick always knows when anybody is around him at any time. Hell, he usually knows where everybody is anyways. He studies his best friend, noting the exhaustion in his face. Slowly Dick smiles and releases his grip on his head, eyes showing relief and insecurity, a strange mix for the boy wonder.

Sorry. The former boy wonder.

Wally watches Roy speak to Dick for a moment before he blurts out the only question on his mind. “Why?”

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

Wayne Manor, Gotham City

The voices aren’t going away. The have been there all night, and Dick doesn’t try to argue with them anymore. He had figured they would leave if he ignored them, but they just get louder the longer they stay. Then Roy and Wally had snuck into the room -and how they did that without him noticing them... well, he blames the voices- and his brain was once again only his. Strange, given that Alfred, Bruce, and Jason had come in to talk to him a few times and the voices only ever dimmed down lightly.

Dick watches Wally study him out of the corner of his eye while he talks to Roy. It’s nice, for a while, just being with his brothers and friends and not being worried about what they are thinking about him. Dick is caught off guard when Wally begins to speak.

"Why? Why was it you? Why does it always have to be _you_ that every evil person wants? It's not fair, Dickie, the entire team was there. We should have... we should've protected you. Should've _done_ something." 

Dick really doesn't want to respond. After all, he agreed completely. Yet, his most logical part if his brain was thinking back to the knife held against his throat three months ago, and he forced himself to sound sure and reassuring and _sane._ Because what sane person has a vindictive voice in his head? "Wally, there isn't anything you could've done without him killing me. It's not your fault." 

Roy cuts off Wally’s response with his own. "Dick, we should have found you. We took that insane clowns word that you were dead and-"

"Oh for goodness sake Roy, you weren't even there when I was taken and you despise the team. Stop suddenly acting like you are one of them" 

"Them?" Wally questions tentatively. Both Wally and Roy are looking at him with looks that hold shock, hurt, sympathy, pity, and even anger. Dick forces himself to go back and rethink what he had said. Did he really not include himself in the team, his family-away-from-home? No, in that moment he realizes that he is not one of them, not since he had been replaced. Maybe not even before that. Had he even really been with them? Why was he just realizing how separated he was from the rest of the team? And, he was the only one that could have been replaced. KF is the only speedster besides Flash himself, M'gann the only other Martian on Earth besides her Uncle, Superboy is the only other Kryptonian anywhere besides Superman, Zatanna is Zatara's only child, therefore the only one to receive his magic abilities, and Kaldur was the only one the King wanted to be Aqualad. Maybe Artemis would be easily replaced as well. So it's only humans that they could -would- replace? Maybe because there were so many on this planet, but, being one of the few pure humans that are heroes now, he had been told that nobody else can do what he does. So, what? He had been lied to about that for years? If they lied to him about that, how many other thing had been lies?

Suddenly he is aware of the two boys still watching him, and slowly he nods his head to answer Wally's question. Choking and clearly distraught, Wally stumbles over his words. "Robin- Dick, dude, you are still one of us. You always will be."

"Am I? Was I ever, really? Think about it. Besides, the team made it clear. I'm not one of you. You know the way out." With that he stands and walks out of his room, forcing unwelcome tears back down his throat. They shouldn't have come. Yet, for a fleeting moment when he sat with his brothers, the voices had left him alone. They burst back into his brain, fast enough and loud enough to make the former Boy Wonder flinch. Groaning, he clutches the side of his head and continues heading forward. Barbara should be here soon, and he has to do a little damage control before Bruce kills him.

Just as he thinks of her, the doorbell rings. Quickly he jogs to the front door, ignoring the voices once more, getting there just after Alfred does. The butler looks surprised at Barbara being there and Dick being out of his room, but he smiles and offers to get them some tea to drink. Dick shakes his head and Barbara politely refuses, and together they head to the sitting room. Usually they would stay out of the room, Dick instead steering them to another part of the house due to the clock leading to the cave, but today it won't make a difference. Once they are both out of view of the eldest Bat, Barbara glares at Dick and motions for him to explain.

“So how are you?”His voice shakes a little because _god the voices won’t stop._ Dick clears his throat and tries again. “I mean, you had a bit of a fight last night against the Joker.”

“Cut the crap and tell me.”

“Fine, Babs. First, remember, I am an acrobat. I grew up doing death defying stunts with my family. Bruce is a millionaire. Jason lived on the streets almost his entire life. When I first came to the manor, I was curious as any child would be. One night I had a nightmare and came down here and I realized that the clock isn’t right. I fixed the time on it and it opened up to an elevator that led down. Once down there I saw Batman, with Alfred leaning over him putting stitches into his side. Apparently he had gone to a drug ring and it went bad. It always does.”

“Anyways, I found out that Bruce is Batman and decided it would be a brilliant idea to fight bad guys myself.  I tried to convince Bruce to let me help him, but he wouldn’t let me. So I snuck out and nearly got myself killed. After that happened a few times he agreed to start training me so I could help him when I was good enough. Almost a year later, Robin was born. Jason has been training since he moved in, ready to help out when I move on from the role of Robin to become my own hero. Actually, I already have the plans for my own hero outfit.”

Barbara looks ready to explode with questions. “So, when they said Robin died...”

Dick takes a deep breath. “They thought I had. The Joker had taken me for three months. After the first two months he told Bats that I was dead. I probably should have been.”

Barbara throws her arms around him, nearly crying. “Oh Dick! Wait, why did Bruce say you were in England with some friends? Let me guess, you needed a cover story. God, you could have been dead for the past month and I wouldn’t even know! Does this make Jason the new Robin? Hey, is that the clock? All I have to do is make it the right time, right?” She jumps up and heads over to the clock, opening it and twisting it to make it right. Dick knows, he should stop her, but he already told her about it. Why not let her see it too?

“Breath, Babs, breath. It’s good for you. He said I was in England? Well, I should’ve guessed that. And yes, Jay is the second Robin. Bruce is going to kill me for telling you this. He should be down there with Jay right now.” He steps to her as the clock slides to the side, walking into the elevator at her side. “So just try not to touch anything. Wally has a tendency to break things down here. Oh yeah, Wally West is Kid Flash. For all I know him and Roy are down here too.” _Although they are most likely still in my room shell shocked._ Dick thinks bitterly.

The door opens, and they step into the semi-darkness that is the cave. “Oh my god.” He hears Barbara whisper next to him before she moves into the cave quickly. She stops a few steps in, watching the training area with rapt fascination. With a feeling of dread Dick sees Bruce knock Jason to the ground, finishing a round of sparring, and look around. His eyes reach Babs quickly, and he growls. Jason looks over at her and then at Dick, hiding a smirk that told Dick that Jason just won a bet. Probably with Bruce about whether he would tell Babs or not.

Bruce looks at Dick before walking to the computer. “He wants to talk to you.” Dick translates the look to her, shaking her head when she opens her mouth to talk. “We can talk later. Go.” Throwing one look back at him, she heads over to Bruce to talk. 

The only thing as he can think as he and Jay head upstairs is _This won’t go well._

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

Wally gapes at the door of Dick’s room as it shuts behind Dick’s retreating form. “Roy he doesn’t think he belongs with the team! What if he thinks he doesn’t belong with the heroes at all? He might quit! He-“

“Wally breathe.” Roy interrupted his rambling. “You remember what happened last time you talked without breathing. You were out cold for ten minutes.”

Wally nods, pulling the precious oxygen into his lungs before speaking. “This is the teams fault. And did you see the news last night? The Joker attacked the Gordon’s and was taken down by Batman and Robin. I would bet anything that Dick was there.”

“If he were there then-“ Roy begins, only to be interrupted by a ringing. “Is that the doorbell? He asks, although he already knows the answer. “Who would be coming here? It’s only eight o’clock in the morning.“

Together the two boys walk out of the room, making sure to shut to lights off and close the door so Alfred doesn’t lecture them. Silently they stalk down the halls of the manor, listening for any clues as to who the mystery visitor is. At their pace, it takes them nearly ten minutes to reach the sitting room.

“Don’t they have a guest over?” Wally asks when they see the clock open. To their surprise, Dick and Tim are the two that walk out. Tim walks past them, rolling his eyes and with a smirk on his face, while Dick flops onto the couch and mutters something to himself. Not bothering to hide anymore, Roy heads to the elevator. As Wally follows, he notices that Dick doesn’t acknowledge their presence.

“Isn’t this all a bit strange? I mean, come on, none of the leaguers would have rang the doorbell and none of the team would come through the front door.” Wally questions again as the elevator heads down to the cave.

“Look, we didn’t know Jason was training until he took over as Robin. Maybe they are training someone else that we don’t know about.” Roy reasons, stepping out as the door opens for them. “It’s not like we saw anybody on the way down here.” Wally opens his mouth, only to get cut off by a voice across the room.

“No. I am not training you.” Wally recognizes the voice of Bruce before he actually sees Bruce. When he does see Bruce, he is surprised to also see Barbara Gordon, Dicks redheaded firecracker of a friend. She smirks and sits down in Bruce’s chair that he never seems to use and starts twirling slowly.

“I’ll stay here until you do train me.” She states, eyes wandering. When they lay on Wally and Roy, she smiles and waves. “Hey Wally. And you must be Roy. Nice to meet you, I’m Barbara Gordon.”

Roy smirks at the annoyed expression lining Bruce’s features before he responds. “You’re Dick’s friend, right? He finally told you the secret. And you are already trying to be part of the team. Well, good luck. If he doesn’t agree I’m sure I might be able to. Or you could ask Dick. He might be willing to help out. Anyways, we’ve got to go.” With the last line Wally is pushed to the Zeta Beam, trying to control his laughter at the smirk growing an Barbara’s face.

**Recognize: Kid Flash B-0-3, Red Arrow B-0-6**

“Dude, are you honestly going to train her?” Wally manages to say over his laughter. He watches as Roy gives him a look that says you’re-kidding-me-right?

“No. And just from meeting her, I can tell Bruce will be training her by morning.” Wally can’t help but laugh at Roy’s response.

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

Almost two hours later Barbara and Bruce emerge from the cage, one with a scowl and one with a smile. Barbara practically skips over to where Dick is sitting on the couch. “He is going to train me.” She announces. “Now, what did you have planned about this whole new-hero-thing for you?”

“How did you- No. I’m not even going to ask. I like the name Nightwing. Come on, I have some designs upstairs that I have been working on for a while.”


	8. Blinding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick has a dream. Then he and Bruce have an interesting conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t even feel like being a smartass at this time. I own nothing.

_Ring-a-round the rosie,_

Dick turns around quickly, trying to follow the hauntingly sweet voice. He is unsurprised to find himself in the large circus tent from his childhood.

_A pocket full of posies,_

It sounds like a child, one of those little girls singing before someone gets killed during those horror movies that Wally is so fond of watching. Dick feels something fall onto his face lightly

_Ashes! Ashes!_

Wiping his hand across his face to push the falling item away, he spots a form standing in the shadows. He places his hand above his eyes to try to see the shadow, them pulls his hand back down to stare at it. There is a black streak on it.

_We all fall down._

As he watches, dark specks fall down onto his hand. Ashes, his brain informs him. That's what's falling. He looks up to the top of the tent and sees it falling everywhere with no obvious source. Blinking away the ashes that got near his eyes, he looks back towards the form in the shadows.

_Ring-a-round the rosie,_

Suddenly desperate to end the singing, Dick heads towards the shadow. He stops close enough to see the familiar painted smile expand to expose the teeth that lie underneath.

_A pocket full of posies,_

Strangely, seeing the Joker doesn't scare him like it always has before. The green hair and purple suit seem almost comforting to him now. Dick frowns and turns around when the Jokers eyes fix on something behind him.

_Ashes! Ashes!_

His old team is there, with Alfred, Bruce, Jason, and Barbara. After glancing around, he can see his neighbor Tim Drake standing nearby and Dicks family standing as if to begin flying on the trapeze. Dick goes to take a step towards them, but stops again when the singing continues.

_We all fall down._

He watches as his family falls again. The only difference is that this time they jump, one by one. First his aunt, followed by his uncle. His cousin follows after them. Soon after that, his father jumps, then his mother. It has a strange form of beauty to it, like a synchronized routine.

_Here comes a candle_

His family’s bodies hit the ground with frightening speed as the singing changes lyrics. Blood splatters across the ground, causing Dick to flinch back a few steps to avoid and that could travel far enough to reach him. As one, his friends, family, and neighbor position themselves into a defensive stance. Their eyes flicker between Dick and the Joker warily.

_To light you to bed._

Dick forces his body into a fighting stance, glancing back at the Joker as if it is a natural response when he’s in danger. The clown gives a small nod, and the young acrobat looks forward again with a smirk lining his features. One, two, three seconds pass. Then Dick attacks.

_Here comes a chopper_

He takes down Bruce and Alfred first, getting the threats out of the way. He has a little difficulty, but manages to finish them off. He follows that attack with getting rid of Superboy by thrusting kryptonite into his bloodstream, a painful death for the clone of Superman.

_To chop off your head._

Artemis nearly manages to hit him with an arrow, but he eliminates her as a threat with a well-aimed batarang. M’gann and Wally try to attack at the same time. Wally speeds around Dick, forming a tornado like he so often does and M’gann attacks his mind. The defenses and traps in his mind that came from years of working with Bruce had her crumpled on the ground almost immediately.

_Chip chop_

With speed most people didn’t know Dick could manage, he grabs Wally before the attack could work and throws him sideways. Wally hits Roy and both boys hit the seats where fans would watch the show. Wally doesn’t move, and Dick puts a batarang into Roy before he can stand.

_Chip chop_

A stream of water throws him to the side. Dick spots Kaldur off to the side with his water bearers glowing. He runs towards the leader of the team and pulls out a bow staff as the water forms to swords in Kaldur’s hands. He manages to slam Kaldur against the wall in under a minute, knocking the Atlantean out

_The last_

With a smirk, Dick throws a blade across Zatanna’s throat, silencing her from creating spells and causing her to collapse. He turns to the last two boys standing, Jason and Tim. They attack together, something that the others should have thought of. Even together Dick can take them down. Realizing that the fight was ending with these two, however, he decides to make it take at least two minutes.

_Man’s_

A part of his mind realizes that the singing has been slowing down, and the voice had been getting a deeper since he had begun the fight. But the majority of his mind is focusing on Jason and Tim. Jason he took down when the fight reached the two minute mark. Tim surprised him, knowing how to fight even though he has been raised by business people. His skill was raw, untrained, but he fights with everything he has. Dick quickly gets bored of his new opponent and knocks him out, seeing no reason to kill the poor kid.

_Dead_

He turns back to the Joker, who was giggling at what the boy had done. Their eyes lock together, and Dick can see the approval shining in the green eyes. The approval was all that was needed to cause Dick to smile. A real, bright smile that he hasn’t used in years. The clown smiles as well, and opens his mouth, whispering a sentence that Dick shouldn’t be able to hear from across the room. For some reason he can hear it perfectly.

“Together, we shall wreak havoc on the world.”

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

Wayne Manor, Gotham

May 29th, 2011

Dick is pulled awake by the sound of someone walking into his room. He opens his eyes and glances at the intruder. It’s Bruce. The billionaire looks at his ward with the same look he has had since Dick came back two days ago. His eyes hold worry and Bruce’s version of love, yet they hold them back enough that most people would only see a blank look.

“Barbara mentioned that you are planning on becoming a hero again.” Bruce tried to explain why he was in his room at -Dick glances at the clock- 5:30 in the morning. “You’re not going back into the field without more training. We started half and hour ago. You’re late.”

“Bruce I have been training for five years. I think I can miss a day.”

“And I have been training for much longer that you have, and I never miss a day. Besides, you missed three months. Now get up.”

Dick tries not to flinch with the not-so-subtle mention of his time with the Joker, but at the same time he is confused at the dream he just had. He quickly pushes back any thoughts about the meaning of the dream and cringes when his mind laughs at him for being weak.

“Fine. I’ll train.” His voice grows defensive towards the voices, causing Bruce to look at his suspiciously. “It’s nothing.” He climbs out of bed and walks over to his dresser for his workout clothes. “Did anyone ever get Harley?” He changes the subject quickly. Usually when he does that he isn’t interested in the subject he changes it to, but this time he is actually curious.

“Nobody went after her. Why do want to know?” Bruce allows even is voice to lace with suspicion.

“No real reason. She might know the answer to something I was wondering about.” Dick tries to cover his curiosity, but his answer seemed to blurt itself out. And it was much closer to the truth than he would like.

“Well, tell me what you were wondering. I might be able to help.”

Of course he would do that. He always does that. Dick closes the door to the bathroom so he can change inside it. Fortunately, he is a compulsive liar and doesn’t even need to think of his answer. “Does the Joker know how to cook? I was given food that didn’t look like it was made by a madman.” He doesn’t have to be able to see Bruce’s face to know that he was looking at Dick like he was insane.

“I would guess that Harley made the food.” To Dick’s surprise, Bruce answers. “I have never heard of the Joker cooking, and Quinn had a normal life. It would only make sense.”

Okay, for some reason they were actually talking about this. It strikes Dick as funny that even in their family this would be a weird conversation. “Okay yeah I can see that being true. Hey, do you think Ivy knows how to cook? Then she and Harley would have days where they could cook together and see who is better.”

Bruce chuckles at the idea of the two friends cooking together. “I don’t see why she wouldn’t be able to. Her food would probably be tasteless though. All the seasonings are plants and she wouldn’t cook with plants.”

Dick comes out of the bathroom, completely ready for training and wearing an amused smile. “So then Harley would win for sure. Hey, do you think any other rouge can cook?”

Bruce considers this as they exit the room and head down towards the living room. “Catwoman can cook. Killer Crock and Moth can most likely not. Cluemaster might be able to, same with Penguin.”

“Yeah, we know that Selina can cook. What about Ra’s and Two-Face? And I would think that with Scarecrow being a scientist he would at least know how to cook.”

“Well Talia had said at one point that her father had made something for her, so I would guess that he can cook. She can cook too. Two-Face can’t cook unless he has learned since becoming Two-Face. He once burnt one of the mini refrigerators while trying to use the stove.” Bruce pauses to open the clock. “Then he tried get rid of the evidence by hiding it in a deep freezer. Harvey had even made me help him. Alfred was so mad when he got home that day. Somehow we had forgotten to cover the burn marks in the kitchen.” They step out of the elevator. “What do you mean we know Catwoman can cook? And since when do you know her ID?”

“She kidnapped me and Jay once. She had stolen something and got mad when you didn’t show up, so she took us. Once we explained that you were on a mission she made us dinner. She explained to us her ID then, but we both knew already at that point.” Dick rolls his eyes. “Anyways, we have Harley, Ivy, Catwoman,  Ra’s, Talia, Cluemaster, and Penguin as Villains that can most likely cook, and Two-Face, Killer Crock, Killer Moth, and Joker as ones that can’t. What about the Riddler?”

“He most likely can. Probably learned one of those times we found a chef terrified as part of a clue. Do you think that Deadshot can-”

“What the hell are you guys talking about?” A sharp voice interrupts them. They both look up to see Barbara staring at them, confused. Jason is standing behind her, looking less confused but also a little amused.

“Which villains can cook.” Bruce responds. Dick can see the words being ran over again in Bruce’s head. At least the subject isn’t going to get Harley. Dick still needs to find her and ask her what she meant about the voices. She knows more than she was saying.

“Yeah I got that. Why?” Barbara questions.

 _Because I changed subjects and why not._ “I was curious. Now, are we going to train or what?” Dick flips onto the mat, hiding the pain that came to him. His wounds are not quite healed yet.

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

The day had been completely about training. Barbara went through many of the easier forms of fighting that they had all been forced to learn first and seemed to grasp them all easily. Together the group of four ate lunch up at the manor, where Barbara had to call her father and tell him she was staying there for the day. All in all it went well, and it wasn’t until Barbara left that Bruce brought up a sore subject.

“You are going to be visiting the team tomorrow.”

Dick stops moving, shocked at the command. “The team doesn’t want me there. Why am I going anyways?”

“Because they don’t want you there.” Bruce didn’t have to say anything else. Not like he was going to. As soon as he had said that he walked away. What he meant but hadn’t said was that Dick was going to be proving himself to the team.

Dick’s mind flashes back to the dream he hadn’t thought of since this morning and the voices that had followed him throughout the day. How is he supposed to prove his loyalty to the team if he isn’t sure about his loyalty? In the dream he killed almost everyone he cares about simply because the Joker allowed him to. Faintly he notices that he is calling it a dream not a nightmare. If that wasn’t a nightmare, and he killed everyone, what does that say about his reality?

Silently he vows that he will get his answers from Harley. He will get them from the Joker if the option ever presents itself. But for now he will prove to his team -and himself- that he is still fighting for the good and not for the clown.


	9. Superhero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's back at the mountain. Just, he's not going to be there long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Unless I suddenly became DC comics, I own nothing. And, I’m pretty sure I am still me.

Mount Justice, Happy Harbor

May 30th, 2011

**Recognize: Robin B-0-9, Nightwing B-0-1**

Wally’s head looks away from the TV at the sound of the unfamiliar name paired with Dick’s Zeta number. Around him, his team looks up with confusion matching his own as he stands and runs towards the beam. He stops just around the corner so he can do a little spying.

“Don’t let them bait you into saying anything. If you actually want to talk, fine.” Robin says. “Oh, and no talking to yourself.”

“I told you Jay, I wasn’t talking.” Dick responds.

“You were talking. Well, more like muttering, but you were talking.” Robin counters. “And don’t call me by my name here.”

“Way to make me sound insane _Robin._ Co- Superboy can hear us and I know for a fact that Wally is around that corner listening to us. Miss Martian has probably linked them up so they can all hear us.”

Wally walks around the corner calmly, settling against the wall to watch the two bats. “Oh, face it Mr. Whelmed.” Jason begins, smiling behind his glasses. Dick still remains without his own signature pair of shades. “You never have been sane. You just became a bat so you could hide it under all that training.” By this time the rest of the team is coming around the corner, listening rabidly.

“Oh, of course!” Robin replies, all smiles, charm, and sarcasm. “I would have to be absolutely psychotic to be able to deal with you and Bats. I don’t know how Agent A does it. Unless you’re calling him insane as well?” This Dick is completely different from the one Wally and Roy saw two days before. Wally has to admit, his friend is a brilliant actor.

Robin’s lips tug themselves down into something that is not quite a scowl, and Dick’s smile widens. Before either of them can say something else, Superboy speaks. “You’re a hero again?”

Dicks smile fades for a second when he looks at Conner. It bounces back onto his face so quickly that Wally has to second guess if he saw the change at all. “Yep.” Dick answers the question with a little enthusiasm. “Nightwing, the one and only. Gonna find a city of my own once I’m old enough to move out.”

“What city?” Artemis scoffs. “No offense, Grayson, but you would get bored in any city other than Gotham. It’s the worst there is.”

Wally hears himself speak more than he actually remembers saying anything. “Well, there is Blüdhaven. It’s worse than Gotham.” It’s directed to Artemis, but out of the corner of his eye he see’s Robin place his head in his hands and Dick’s eyes focus on the wall. “Bro, don’t even think about going there.

Dick doesn’t look at him. Instead, his eyes shift to M’gann, who is watching his with a look of confusion. “Dick...” 

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

“Well, there is Blüdhaven. It’s worse than Gotham.” Wally is quick to Artemis, of course. That was to be expected. For some reason, Dick wasn’t expecting the voice in his head to retaliate.

 _Of course he wants you to go to Blüdhaven. He knows you wouldn’t survive it._ The first boy wonder shifts his gaze so he is looking at the wall in an attempt to not react. _And none of them are arguing about it. They all want you gone. You’re still dead to them._ Faintly he can hear Wally saying something to his, but the voice continues. _The mind reader is in your head._

 _Oh, so you’re helping me now?_ He thinks back feebly as his eyes travel to Miss Martian, who is watching him with wide eyes. _You’re reading my mind._ He accuses. “Dick...” She begins, confirming what the voice told him. Now only if he knew how the voice could tell when he couldn’t. “What’s going on?”

Noticing the accusing eyes of Superboy, and the confused eyes of everyone else, focused on him, he responds to her innocently. “Nothings wrong. Why?” _Don’t say anything about it._ He thinks to her, hoping she will keep his secret even though she didn’t trust him.

“Just that you are in pain. Are your injuries still not healed?” ‘ _I won’t tell them, if you will talk to me about it later.’_

“They’re a little sore, but after training yesterday I figured that I would be sore anyways. Nothing to be worried about.” He contemplates her deal.  Either he doesn’t tell her about it and she tells everyone, or they talk about his voices-from-hell in his mind and he doesn’t have to go through this alone. He smiles slightly as he thinks back to her. _I’m here for the night. We can talk later._

She smiles at him before following her boyfriend, who left the room with smile and a grunt.

“Okay, what was that all about?” Artemis speaks up. “I mean, I’m no mind reader, but Megan isn’t that great of a liar, and she knows something that you aren’t telling us.”

Not sure what he was going to say, Dick starts talking. “Really, it’s nothing. My mental block is weaker than it would normally be, and I guess she noticed that.”

Artemis narrows her eyes, studying him like he was a problem that she hasn’t figured out the answer to yet. Before she could open her mouth to speak again, Zatanna asks a question of her own. “If there were something wrong, you would tell us, right? I mean, we’re a team. We have to look out for one another, and we can’t do that unless we know-”

“Report to the gym in five minutes. Training is mandatory for all current and old team members in the mountain at this time.” Red Tornadoes voice cuts through their conversation. Almost at once Zatanna, Wally, Kaldur, and Artemis look at Dick, who in turn begins to walk towards the training room with Robin. Kaldur quickly averts his gaze, while the girls and Wally keep watching Dick as they all begin to follow the brothers.

Dick is hyper aware of the multiple sets of eyes on him. _They are trying to figure out why a traitor is training with them._ He nearly growls out of annoyance at the word traitor, although he agrees with the idea behind the statement. He still can’t figure out what he did wrong for the team to hate him like this. Instead of mulling it over right now, Dick reminds himself that Miss Martian is a psychic. Quickly he changes his train of thought.  “So, why is training in the gym and not out here by the Zeta Beams where it used to be?”

“Supes and I kind of broke it.” Wally sheepishly responds, his hand subconsciously reaching up and scratching the back of his neck. “We were talking and you were brought up. This was right before you were pronounced dead. He went on a rage. I got pissed and wouldn’t stop either.”

“Not even Megan could get them to stop.” Artemis joined in the story telling. “Canary had to use her canary call. It would have been amusing if it hadn’t been such bad circumstances.”

“Sounds like it.” Dick responds with a smile. He follows Robin through the door to the gym, glancing around. Nothing has been changed much, although Dick’s acrobatic equipment was moved to the back of the room. Conner and Megan are already there, standing next to each other in front of Batman and Black Canary. The rest of the team and Dick lineup next to them.

“We’re going to start with some sparring. Conner and Wally. Kaldur and Robin. Artemis and Zatanna. Megan with Batman. Richard will be with me. You have five minutes until I switch your groups.” Quickly everybody moves with their partner to a separate spot and got ready to fight. “No powers. Begin.”

Without waiting for Dick to attack her, she moves behind him.  Dick jumps up and flips over her head, narrowly avoiding being hit. Due to Dick being with Batman for so long, and him being the first sidekick, he and Black Canary have sparred many times. That plays to both his advantage and his disadvantage. He knows her strengths and weaknesses, but she also knows the same about him. Normally they are pretty even without Canary’s powers, but add in the fact that Dick is injured still and that he is out of practice, and it is pretty obvious he is not going to win. He still tries to win, despite his odds, and manages to last the majority of five minutes before he finds himself on his back, the words ‘fail’ echoing underneath him. Slightly confused at the silence around him other than labored breathing, he looks around as Black Canary help to his feet and finds that they were to last duo fighting.

“Good work, Dick.” He looks back to the smiling face of Black Canary and nods once. She ruffles his hair quickly before turning to the team. “Artemis, Conner, Kaldur, Megan, and Richard. Move to the person on your right." 

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

Fifty minutes later, they are done with sparring. Dick lost only to the two leaguers in the room, which shouldn’t have been as much of a surprise to the team as it had been. After each of the members had lost they accepted it with a smile, except for Conner who had just glared at Dick.

Black Canary calls them all back from their drink break. “Alright, now that we are done with that, we are going to-“

“Hello?’ Batman interrupts. Canary looks over at him, annoyed, only to find him with his finger by his ear. After a moment he nods. “Understood. We are headed there now.” His finger clicks off the com-link in his ear as he heads out the door. Without needing to be told, Robin follows him out. Dick stares at the door after them until he feel eyes on him. He looks back to the team to find all of their eyes on him.

“Dude, you’re not going with them?” Wally asks, breaking the silence before anybody else can.

“It was a call for Gotham heroes. I’m not a hero anymore.” Dick responds, not even bothering to hide how much that thought bothered him. Black Canary studies him, and Dick can practically see her mind trying to figure out what is exactly wrong with him.

“Dick, you are still a hero, even if you’re not one for Gotham.”  M’gann argues, sadness flowing through her words.

Dick attempts to smile at her, although he is sure he fails the attempt. “If you don’t mind, BC, I’m going to skip out on the rest of training. Don’t really believe I can focus at the moment.”

The leaguer focuses back onto the conversation, although her gaze doesn’t leave Dick’s face. “Actually, I believe that’s enough for one day. We can pick up where we left off tomorrow.” Dick watches her look away from him to look at each member of the team. As soon as he is sure her focus is completely off of him, he slides into the shadows and out of the room silently. Now it would be great if he could figure out where to go.

 _You’re room is not being used by anyone. Nobody cleaned it out._ M’gann’s voices rings throughout his head. He thinks back a quick thanks before running to his old room.

He gets there quickly, punching in the code to slide the door open. As he steps inside, laughter starts ringing inside his brain like nothing Dick has ever heard before. It is both deep and high pitched, and full of psychotic happiness that causes him to clutch at his head. The laughter goes on for nearly twenty seconds before a now-familiar voice cuts through. _Nice friend you’ve got there. Trying to send you back to Gotham. He doesn’t even want to deal with you._

Walking to his bed, he notices quickly that his computer is still here, plugged in, and turned on. He grabs it as the voices continue. _At least that Martian has the decency to lie to you about being a hero. Just face it; they all feel the way Superboy does. They just don’t want to express it._

He shakes his head against the accusation, refusing to believe it. Richard ‘Dick’ John Grayson will not give in to anyone, even if that person is in his mind. He struggles to open the computer, surprised to find that his hands are shaking. _Stop denying it! I am in your brain! I wouldn’t say it if you didn’t believe it. Don’t you get it? I am you, not someone you can ignore._

Dick stops trying to pay attention to his computer and he lets it slide off his lap onto the bed. Faintly he can here the pounding of footsteps running towards his room. _They are going to try to save you so that you can be used as their puppet again. Do the only thing you can do. Go to Harley. Get your answers you so desperately want. There not going to help you any._

He tries to shake his head to the voice again. Dick knows he isn’t their puppet. Yet… haven’t they just done everything that is convenient to them since he got back? Not once can Dick think of a time where anyone did something just for him.  He can hear someone hitting the other side of his door, but the first boy wonder closes his eyes and drifts to sleep. 

-Y-J-∞♥∞-Y-J-

The only reason M’gann knows Dick left the training room before anyone else can tell is because she is keeping track of his mind to see if that strange voice from before returns. She tells him that his room is unoccupied so that he can have somewhere to go where most team members cannot enter without permission. She smiles at the thanks she receives when Black Canary notices the bird’s absence. “Where’s Richard?”

“He is going to his room. He’s not feeling too well.” Megan tells her, although it is only half of the truth. Canary doesn’t seem to realize that the Martian is being only slightly honest as she nods and heads out of the room and towards the Zeta Beams.

“Megan, what’s wrong with Dick?” Artemis turns towards her teammate as soon as the leaguer is out of the room. “And none of the ‘mental barriers are low’ or ‘his wounds are sore’ crap. What did you find out earlier that we don’t already know?”

“N- Nothing!” M’gann stutters. She has always found it difficult to lie to her team, even when it was about her true Martian form. “I didn’t notice anything.”

“M’gann,” Kaldur joins in the conversation, placing a hand on the aliens shoulder, “he is our teammate. We need to know if there is anything at all you are not telling us.”

Megan looks around at her teammates, all of who are looking at her now. Wally is nodding at her, trying to encourage her to speak, but she gave her word to Dick! She can’t break her promise to the boy she see’s as a little brother.

But if it is truly to help him…

She opens her mouth to tell them about the deep voice taunting Dick earlier, but she is stopped by a sudden laughter in her head. It takes her nearly a second to realize her mind is still linked to Dick’s and this laughter is in his mind and not her own. She curls herself into a ball, floating a little above ground, for a few seconds when she feels Conner’s arms surrounding her.

“Megan! What’s wrong?” His worried voice breaks through the laughter enough to allow her to pull her mind from Dick’s. She shakes her head, trying to hold back tears before speaking.

“Rob- Rich- Dick! It’s Dick! There’s this laughter, and, and I… I-“ She breaks off, swallowing her tears again.

“I don’t hear anything. Are you sure?”

“It’s in his mind. There’s a voice talking now. It’s what I heard earlier. It’s trying to turn him against everyone. Oh gosh, it’s telling him such horrible things.”

She looks up at the shocked faces of her team before she jumps up and flies out the door. Wally is quick to pass her, speeding to his best friends' room. The rest of the team is right behind her. They are in his hallway in a matter of seconds, finding Wally desperately punching codes in, trying to gain access. Wally gives up with the codes and proceeds to punch and knock on the door. Conner pushes Wally out of the way and begins to punch through the door. Three punches later, the door flies in and reveals the closing eyes of Dick Grayson.

Wally runs in and checks for a pulse, and his sigh of relief allow the rest of the team to relax. "There is absolutely no way he would just pass out with us trying to get in like that." The speedster says quickly, trying to see if anything is physically wrong with his best friend. "And he's a light sleeper anyways. There's something wrong here."

Kaldur nods. "Indeed. We should-"

"What is going on?" Black Canary interrupts, running into the room. "I heard you guys breaking down the door."

The team looks at each other before Kaldur speaks again. "Something is wrong with Dick. He…" He looks to M'gann to explain. The Martian nods before continuing where her leader left off. "He has a voice in his brain. It's not his, but it's talking to him. Telling him things about the team and… other stuff."

The leaguer nods once. "Tell me everything you know about this voice and tell me what it said. Then we will contact Batman."

* * *

Gotham City

May 30th, 19:06 EDT

Batman hardly acknowledges the Commissioner as he leaves the premises, having tied up the bank robbers with little trouble. He joins Robin on the roof of a nearby building, since the boy had had no interest in sticking around after the fighting was over. His partner nods at him once before grabbing his grappling hook.

Before he could nod back, his communicator alerts him of an incoming transmission. He scowls to himself before he accepts it. "Yes?"

The voice of Black Canary isn't what makes his heart rate increase. It's what she says. "You need to get back to the mountain. Something is wrong with Dick."

 


	10. The Bird and the Worm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman figures out something is more wrong than he thought before, Wally finds out what happened with the Joker, and the voice is a jerk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending of the previous chapter has been changed.

Mount Justice, Happy Harbor

May 31st 20:16 EDT

Batman glares at all of the people in the room, minus Robin and Dick. "You're telling me," He starts, looking at each person in turn, "That my son has a voice inside his head telling him everyone hates him and he should go back to Harley Quinn." None of the team members look him in the eyes, and Black Canary had left to the watch tower to get Martian Manhunter after the team explained everything to Batman.

Noting that none of them are going to say anything, he targets the girl who he believes is most to blame. "Miss Martian, you heard this voice this morning." The green teen nods feebly, looking like she is on the verge of tears. "And it was telling him you all want him dead, yet you said nothing about it to anyone."

"He- he said he would tell me about it. I feared if I told them against his wishes I would be proving what it said true!" The Martian sputters.

Wally finally speaks. "You can't yell at her for doing what she thought was right." He opens his mouth to continue speaking, but nothing comes out of his mouth when the batglare focuses on him.

Robin steps away from the wall he had been leaning on. "You seem awfully unsurprised by all of this, Kid Flash. You knew something."

Wally nearly begins vibrating with fear when the glare intensifies. "I-could-tell-something-was-wrong-when-I-visited-t he-manor.-Roy-could-too.-It-was-just-a-feeling-I-s wear." Wally speed-talks.

"Robin knew something was wrong." Conner interrupts the bats glaring at Wally. "When he first arrived here today he was talking about Dick talking to himself."

"Actually, I think he said it was more like muttering to himself." Wally slips into the conversation again.

"But that was days ago that he did that. How long could he have possibly had a voice in his head?" Robin questions, causing Batman to walk over to his eldest son. The room quiets down as they watch the Bat pick up Dick and leave the room, with Robin right on his heels. After a moment of confusion the team follows the duo to the infirmary, where they walk in just as a blood sample is taken out of the younger brothers' arm.

Artemis opens her mouth to ask what they are testing for when they all hear a light groan. All eyes in the room flick to the second youngest there as he stirs. Instead of her question, she simply states "He's waking up."

* * *

The first thing he is aware of is a pounding in his head. He groans and clenches his fists around the sheet he is lying on. His mind reminds him what happened just before he passed out as he hears a familiar husky voice state the obvious.

"He's waking up."

His lips twitch into a smile as he fights to open his eyes against the harsh light.  _ **Okay so they state the obvious too. You really need some new friends. Not that these people are your friends, but you seem to still believe they are.**_  A growl rumbles in his throat at the voice as Megan gasps. He opens his eyes as M'gann relays the voices message to the team. Automatically he wants to close them again so he doesn't have to see the varying emotions of shock, pity, confusion, sadness, and anger across his ex-teammates faces.

 _ **Oh, so she's going to be telling them now. This could be fun. What should I tell them first about you're time with the Joker?**_ _Okay when will you learn when to shut up?_  Dick listens sadly as Megan again relays what the voice said, although she excluded Dick's own thought response. Wally visibly flinches, while the others try unsuccessfully to hide their emotions.

Slowly Dick pulls himself into a sitting position, forcing himself to look at his guardian. He's not shocked in the least when the questions start immediately. "How long?"

"Started about a month after I was captured."

"Why then?"

Robin pauses, not wanting to let them know what he was so torn over. The voice in his head, however, wanted everyone to know.  _ **Because poor ole Richard Grayson had to hurt people.**_ Automatically Dick tries to strengthen his mental block, but he hasn't been very strong mentally since he started torturing people for the Joker. He looks at Megan when he realizes she hasn't yet relayed the message and finds her watching him with wide eyes. Seeing his moment to stop her, he started talking.

"I should've been dead. It was a long month. I was practically starving myself before then, and I had just started eating what food I was brought about a week before then. Maybe something was in the food. I don't know, really."

Robin steps closer to him, eyeing him suspiciously. "What all has it told you?"

Dick forces himself to chuckle. If he was going to get out of this room ever to find Harley like he said he was going to, he had to start laying out the lies thick. "Oh, nothing big. Just the typical everyone hates me that I would have to be an idiot to believe."

**Recognize: Black Canary 1-3, Martian Manhunter 0-7**

Wally and M'gann both use their powers to get to Dick's side. "Dude, you can't say something like that is nothing." Wally argues, throwing his arm around his friends' shoulders.

Megan places a hand on Dick's arm. "It's not true. You know that, right?"

The ex-boy wonder forces a smile onto his face as he lies again. "Of course I know it's true. I mean, you guys are my family."  _ **Oh you're all such good actors. Very convincing. After their initial reunion with you and everything that's happened in those few days since, I'm proud you see them for who they truly are.**_

Dick flinches at the voice and he watches as Megan nearly bursts into tears again. Defensively, he thinks back Not _all of them. Most of them, yes. Not all of them._  Looking at the rest of the room he can see the faces change, and Dick knows she relayed the message to them telepathically. Wally pulls his arm back to his own body and opens his mouth to speak but he gets interrupted by Black Canary and Martian Manhunter entering the room.

"Manhunter. Do you know the situation?" Batman asks quickly, probably trying to get away from the emotional stuff happening.

"I have been briefed, yes." The alien replies. "I assume I am here to see if anything is wrong mentally."

"To find out what is wrong, yes." The Bat confirms, motioning for M'gann and Wally to step away from Dick. "Do not go into his memories."

The green man nods as he walks over to Dick, who tries to swallow his fear at what could possibly be wrong with him. More than anything, he's terrified at the option that nothing could be wrong. Without thinking about it, the acrobat lies back and closes his eyes, just wishing for this to be over quickly.

* * *

It takes an hour for the testing to be over, in which Wally is frantic. Dick had laid down before Manhunter had even gotten to him, and after that Manhunter and put him under. After that Batman had practically pushed all of the team members out of the room. The team stayed silent, most of them terrified that their brother would never trust them again. Wally suspects that Conner couldn't care less, since he doesn't trust Dick anyways.

When the door to the infirmary finally opens to allow them back inside, they don't even attempt to make it look like they weren't pacing outside the room.

"Well? What did you find? Why is he still sleeping? Is he going to be okay? What did you find?" Wally asks, firing question after question in rapid succession.

"Actually," Martian Manhunter answers calmly, "I didn't find anything wrong. Wherever the voice came from, it was not his brain. And he fought me scanning his mind, so I had to put him deeper under. He will wake in about an hour."

"So you're saying there's nothing wrong." Artemis clarifies, disbelief clear in her tone. "With everything that happened tonight, you expect me to believe that?"

"Nothing wrong with his brain. We still have to run his blood test to see if maybe something was put in his food." Batman states, grabbing the blood and heading after the Martian out the door.

"Wait, you can test the blood here. Where are you going?" Wally questions, following the Dark Knight.

"You may have the materials here, but they would be more thoroughly tested quicker at the Batcave. Me and Robin will be back with the results in the morning." Batman looks back at the speedster and his team. "You should get some rest. It is nearly midnight."

"My uncle said Dick would be waking up in the next hour. Should we not be up when he gets up?" M'gann asks, although they all know there is no way they are going to bed soon.

Robin chuckles as Batman just walks away from them. "Give him some sleeping medicine mixed in with tea or something when he gets up."

Conner grunts. "Since he doesn't trust anyone here, wouldn't he be expecting that."

Robin scowls at the kryptonian. "Dick trusts Wally."

Wally looks around, shocked. "Me? Why me?" He looks to the Boy Wonder for an answer only to find that the boy ninja'd away. "Seriously, can all bats do that?"

"Perhaps we should try to sleep. We do not know what to expect in the morning." Kaldur instructs, earning reluctant nods from most of his team, who begin to disperse to their separate rooms. "Wally, you go to bed after making sure Dick goes to bed." He earns a nod before he feels the speedster breeze by him on the way to the kitchen to make tea.

When Wally returns to the infirmary with sleep tea, he finds Dick awake and zoning out. Wally watches his best friend for a while, noting how he flinches about every twenty seconds. Finally he makes his presence known, striding forward with the tea in hand. "Hey dude. Arguing with that voice again?"

Dick doesn't jump, only looks at him with surprise sketched into his eyes. He bites his bottom lip for a second before responding. "You could say that. What's going on? I pass out with everyone in here and wake up alone."

Wally chuckles and hands over the cup of tea. "Batman sent us to bed. I didn't want to go to bed without talking to my best bud about what happened to him."

Dick smiles lightly and glances down at the cup before setting it on the table next to the bed. "I was tortured for a month endlessly. I had nearly broken the first day I got there, but after that I decided I had to fight as much as I could for you guys. The Team, Batman, the League."

Wally frowns at the discarded cup before focusing on what was said. "A month? Dude you were there for three. What happened the other two?" He watches the breath hitch in his best friends throat. "Dude, sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's.." Dick chokes on his words again. "I'll have to talk about it eventually." He closes his eyes and grimaces again. "People were brought in. Criminals, usually straight from jail. He would make me torture them. For the first month I refused, and then he would torture me and the criminal both. I never got it as bad as they did. They were killed. Every day. After that first month, I couldn't do it anymore. I tortured them at the Jokers instructions. He would try to make me kill them, but I couldn't."

Wally watches his friend, his younger brother, as he tries to fight back tears that threaten them both. Something in his mind clicks. "That's why he said you were dead after that first month. He-"

"He broke me. At that point, I had wished he had killed me. I still did until he let me leave. Then I came here."

"And then Supes attacked you." Wally finishes. "Oh, dude, I swear. He will not hear the end of this." He watches Dick lay back down, shaking. "You okay? Of course you're not okay. That was a stupid question."

"That's not everything. He let me go because he completely broke me. He- I killed a person. The day before I came back here. He let me go because he knows I don't want to have to live with that."

Wally's breathe leaves him. Before his mind processes what he was doing, he was on the hospital bed with Dick, holding him close as he loses the fight with the tears. The speedsters' tears blur his vision as he realizes what his friend has been through. He holds the boy as he cries himself to sleep. Only then does he let go.

Quieting his breathing, he situates the boy into a position that seemed like it would be more comfortable and threw a blanket over him. He fought the urge to stay with Dick and walked to his room, not wanting to leave his friend any faster than absolutely necessary.

* * *

_**Wake up you emotional waste of space.** _

_What a nice morning call._  He thinks as he rolls over. Surprisingly there is a blanket on top of him. Fleetingly he tries to remember who put it there, but all he remembers is spilling everything to Wally and crying himself to sleep. Inwardly he cringes at unloading everything onto the speedster.

_**They have all been in their rooms for over an hour.** _

Richard can't figure out why the voice isn't insulting both him and the people he is supposed to care about, but he doesn't care. He can understand why the voice woke him up with only that to say.

He can make it to Gotham.

He can get answers from Harley.

He stands and slips out of the room, making it to the Zeta Beams silently in minutes. As quickly as he can he disables the announcing so they can't hear him go and he sets the coordinates to Gotham. With a smile, he steps into the beam.

 


	11. Circus For A Psycho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick rebels against the voice and does something he may regret. Wally and Conner follow him and get a nasty shock.

Gotham City

June 1st, 01:23

Dick glares at the warehouse for a moment before walking up to the front doors and knocking. There is a two minute wait before the door swings open, revealing Harley in all of her psychotic glory. She smiles as she catches sight of the hero. "Robin! Oh, wait," her face falls into a slight frown, "you told me I can't call you Robin. Do you have a new name yet or can I make something up? I could call you Red-"

Dick throws a punch at her face, interrupting her high pitched ramblings. She puts a hand to her face, looking at the acrobat with a shocked face. "Now talk." Richard tells her, voice going much darker than he would have thought was possible. "What did you and your boyfriend do to me?"

Harleys face lightens. "Oh, that's something puddin's been workin' on. It helps you learn the truth." She smiles.  _ **See, I'm not the bad guy. You should really trust me and not those idiots back at the mountain.**_

The boy growls in frustration and puts a punch in Quinn's stomach, followed by a kick to the face. "How do I fix it?" He asks while she is bent over, gasping for breath. Annoyed at the amount of time before she speaks again, Dick grabs her by the neck and turns her head to face him. "Tell me."

She smirks at him. "I don't know. I didn't help make it." He growls again and throws her backwards, her head slamming against the harsh floor. His eyes flick across the room. The table of weapons was moved from his cell to the main room, and he nearly flinches at the sight of it. Other than that the room is mainly empty, holding the usual items you would find in an abandoned warehouse. A few windows line the wall, going up three floors.

Hearing the sound of moving, he faces Harley again. She pulls herself off the floor, leaning on her huge hammer for support. "Where's the Joker?" He questions her, stepping closer, trying to ignore the weapon.

Harley frowns again, voice ringing out. "Why, so you can hurt him too. Not gonna happen." With the last word, she swings the hammer, hitting him in the side and flinging him across the room.  _ **NO! Don't fight!**_

The acrobat pauses, trying to make sense of why his voice suddenly doesn't want him fighting. He is forced back into action, rolling to the side as the hammer slams down where he used to be.  _Watch me fight, because she definitely wants to._

He darts closer to Harley, throwing a kick at her side. Ducking as the hammer is swung his way again, he moves behind her and jumps up, kicking her forwards. She stumbles, losing her grip on the hammer. Taking the opportunity, Dick grabs it and tosses it to the other side of the room, under the table of torture weapons. Spinning to face him, Quinn grabs his arm and makes him follow the hammer, throwing him through the air. He slams into the wall, sliding down painfully to the ground once more. Above him, he can see a shadow shift on the other side of the window.

 _If Batman comes in here I'll never be able to know what they did to me._  He looks at the table he landed next to for barely a second before jumping up and grabbing three of the blades that he was made to use more than the others. _ **Right now I hope Batman comes in here and stops you. She does not deserve this!**_  He throws one, sinking it into the villains shoulder. Over her scream of shock, he speaks. "Now, Harley, tell me where the Joker is."

"Didn't tell ya before, not tellin' ya now." She says, leaning on a piece of wood. Slowly, she pulls out the dagger from her shoulder.

"Fine." He barked, tightening his grip on another dagger in his hand. "I have other ways to find him."

"You ain't gonna get to him. He's busy with the Bat. You're busy." She states, happy with herself. Without waiting for a response, she throws the wood at him.

He dodges, flinging the dagger at her in response. He hits his mark, the blade pushing its way through her skin in her stomach.  _ **She is going to die if you don't stop.**_  Frowning, he walks towards her as she sinks to her knees. He leans in front of her and puts his hand around the dagger. "Good thing my schedule just opened up." Without flinching, he twists the dagger deeper into her stomach and stands.

The window behind him shatters, spraying glass on him. Ready to face Batman, he turns and is instead greeted by Superboy and Wally.. "I told them." Supey roars, glaring at Dick. "I  _warned_  them. And I was right."

Thinking of the Joker, Dick forces his body into a fighting stance as the clone of Superman jumps towards him. He back handsprings away from the landing blow that is put into the ground. Before Superboy stands back up, the acrobat runs forward and uses his back as a springboard, flipping himself across the room to the doors. He pulls them open, sprinting away from the warehouse as fast as only the most trained superhero can.

Arms circle themselves around his waist as he makes it three buildings away. Wally huffs at him, whining at Dick goes still. "Dude, just tell me why."

Biting back the response  _you know why,_ Dick grabs his friends arms. "I'm sorry Wally, I have to do this." He untangled himself from his friend, ducking under the arms around his waist. Pulling the speedster in front of him, he manages to make it to the edge of the dock. "Sorry." He says again, pushing his best friend into the waters below.

Knowing that Superboy would be not far behind them, Dick moves back to the buildings and blends into the shadows. Sure enough, the familiar black shirt appears in sight after twenty six seconds. Dick takes a moment to make sure Wally is unhurt in the water, then he runs towards the city. Towards Joker and Batman.

* * *

Mount Justice, Happy Harbor

June 1st 01:14 EDT

Conner walks out of his room, compressing a yawn. He listens for anything, trying to notice if anyone else was awake. His teams' heart rates are normal, except for Wally, who is either still awake or not sleeping well. Conner suspects that, like him, he is simply not asleep. Ever since Dick came back, he hasn't been able to sleep, waiting for the next bad thing to come after the boy. And after their team.

Only after a moment does he remember that Dick is supposed to be in the medical bay. Conner focuses his hearing, already heading that way, and he cannot hear a heartbeat. For a terrifying second, the clone of Superman runs, believing that maybe the first Robin was hurt worse than before. He gets to the door, pushing it open so it hits the wall behind it with a loud thud. Angry, he notices that the bed it empty just as a blur of flash pajamas ran into the room.

"What's wrong? Where's Dick? What's going on?" Wally questions in quick progression, not leaving enough space for Conner to begin to answer.

He turns away and heads out of the room. "He's not here." Is all he says.

Wally's face shows his confusion, mixed with a strange look that is almost like realization. He follows Conner out. "We have to find him."

Conner doesn't even bother turning around. "Why?"

Wally sighs, like he doesn't want to share a secret. Automatically, Conner wants to know what Wally knows. "Listen, with what the Joker did, Dick's most likely wanting revenge. That's where I am betting he went. We can't let him do something he'll regret."

Conner stops and looks back at the speedster. "No, I meant, why would I go?"

Wally looks him dead in the eyes. "Because, whether you're going to admit it or not, he's your friend too."  
Conner looks down and sighs, contemplating what he was told. He did run to help when he thought Dick was in danger. Did that mean they are still friends? Did Dick still want to be friends with him? Resolved, he looks back up and nods, turning to follow Wally towards the zeta beams. Wally smiles and leads the way, trying not to speed off and leave his friend behind.

Looking over the speedster in front of him, Conner speaks up again. "Aren't you going to change out of pajamas first?"

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Wally and Conner find the row of warehouses that the Joker usually operates out of. Conner and Wally hesitate for a moment, trying to decide if this is the right area, when Conner hears a crash in a building in the middle of the rows. "Over there." He states, pointing out the building for Wally. The teenager blurs to the building, using crates and random stuff laying around to help fling himself up to the second story window.

Conner receives a nod, telling him that Dick is actually in there, and he starts jogging. It's about fifteen buildings away. He focuses on the voices coming from inside.

"Now, Harley, tell me where the Joker is." Dick. Conner stumbles for a moment, and forces himself to stay balanced while listening.

"You ain't gonna get to him. He's busy with the Bat. You're busy." Conner has only heard that voice a select amount of times before, yet he recognizes it like he would recognize Batman's. Harley Quinn, the Joker's personal lapdog. He reaches the warehouse as Dick responds.

"Good thing my schedule just opened up." Without needing any further prompting, Conner grabs Wally and jumps through the window above them. They crash through the glass landing roughly across for Dick, who is standing over Harley's body. Dick turns and Conner forgets about being friends with him. Instead, his mind turns back to the way it was when Dick first came back, just a few days ago.

He growls, stepping forwards. "I told them. I  _warned_  them. And I was right." With the last word, he lunges towards the acrobat. He throws his fist out in front of him, not surprised in the least when its dodged. He goes to stand, but feels a sudden pressure on his back. Within a second the pressure was gone, but it was enough to send him stumbling a few steps forward.

He manages to stand and nods at Wally to go after him. The acrobat nods slightly, staring at the body of Harley for a second before leaving. Before leaving, Conner calms himself down. He had made plenty of progress controlling his anger, but when fighting someone he used to trust the anger controls him again. He focuses back in and heads out the door. He hears a quick and quiet "sorry" come from the acrobat, then comes splashing of a body hitting water.

He runs, finding Wally treading water by the docks. Quickly, and not to gently, he helps to speedster out, looking around with both eyes and ears to find their missing opponent. Looking down at his teammate beside him, he scowls. "I'll contact the team. You talk to Batman."


	12. Last Resort

**Last Resort**

**Papa Roach**

Gotham City

June 1st, 01:23

“Batman wouldn’t answer, so I contacted Robin.” Kid Flash explains. “He said that their dealing with the Jokers victims, and that the Joker got away.” He looks up at the larger teen in front of him as he continues. “If we’re gonna find Dick, we gotta find the Joker.”

Superboy looks down at him and responds. “Aqualad suggests that we begin searching, and when they getto the city they’ll comm’ us and find out where we are. Their coming in the bio-ship.”

Wally nods his understanding, and looks around “Alright, you start leaping and keep your ears out for laughter. I’ll keep up on the ground. We should find them quickly that way.” Superboy nods and takes off, not waiting for any more directions. Wally takes a deep breath, reminding himself that this plan will work.

“It has to work.”

-PB-

Dick tries to force himself to smile as he walks, but he can’t do it. He types on his holo-computer, hacking into the city’s security camera’s to find the one person he is looking for. He see’s Batman and Robin at a bank, pushing needles into laughing peoples skin. Joker isn’t with them, so he wasn’t caught. Robin breaks away from the victims of the laughing gas and opens up his own holo-comp.

Dick quickly looks over the other screens, examining every area of the city. He see’s a jumping Superboy being followed by Kid Flash, who had at some point changed into his hero costume, going around the middle of Gotham, but no clown. 

He focuses back on Robin and Batman just as they finish administering people with the laughing gas antidote. They talk to each other quietly, and Dick doesn't even try to understand what they are saying, but he does notice two words brought up multiple times. His name, and The Joker.  After only a minute they grapple out of view of that camera, in the direction opposite of Dick.

Quickly Dick shut of his holo-comp and runs down the road, trying to follow them. He trips when his voice growls at him, trying to convince him that the Joker is not the enemy. His steps falter, and he is almost inclined to believe the voice in his mind. 

_**They all tried to make you fight against him. Your precious Batman keeps attacking him and he only wants to protect himself.** _

As if in response to the voice, his burns on his back flare to life. He forces himself to start running again.

_If that were true, he wouldn't keep hurting people. After tonight he's not going to hurt anyone. Ever._

_**I can't let you kill him.**_ The voice responds, his voice deep and calm.

Dick stops running, noticing he is only a few blocks from the survivors of Jokers most recent attack. He makes his way up the fire escape to the top of the building nearest him. _And why's that?_ He asks it almost sarcastically, knowing the answer already.

The voice doesn't disappoint in telling him what he already knows _ **. He made me. Without him, I would not be here.**_ There's a pause, and Dick knows there is more. Something new. _**And without him, I will not survive**_.

Dick trips his way onto the roof, surprised. _What do you mean you won't survive?_ Even in his mind his voice sounds incredulous.

 _ **It doesn't matter**_. The voice is getting defensive. _**Because I won't let you kill the Joker.**_

Dick scoffs. _What are you gonna do, talk me out of it?_

Immediately, his brain feels like its about to explode. He clutches his head and falls to his knees, biting his lips to stop himself from crying out. Louder than it ever seemed before, the voice speaks again. _**I'm not just a voice. And though I am in your body I do not feel your pain. I can keep this up forever.**_ As if to prove his point, the pressure and pain inside the ex-Boy Wonders mind increases.

Dick can't help but cry out in pain.

-PB-

Superboy stops moving, tilting his head to hear the noise that he thought he had heard. His abrupt stop caused Kid Flash to run into him, but while the redhead was on the ground, he barely moved at all. KF jumps back up and moves in front of him. "What do you hear?"

Superboy elects to not answer right away in order to try to pinpoint the yell he had heard. He knows Dick's voice well enough that he is positive that it was him, and it held such pain that Superboy almost forgets that its the same boy who just killed a villain.

Almost.

"I can't pinpoint where he is, but it came from that way." He points forwards and to his left, near the place Kid Flash told him the Joker had attacked people with something called 'laughing gas.'

Kid nods, then grabs his arm. "Who did you hear? The Joker or Dick?" Superboy study's his eyes, noting the worry, terror, and resignation. The eyes of someone whose best friend is being hunted by both bad guys and good.

Superboy pulls his arm out of the speedsters grip. "Dick." 

Kid Flash takes a deep breath and steps back. "Please tell me he was talking. Or cackling. Something good."

The kryptonian looks at his teammate, trying to decide if lying to him would be a good thing. Deciding against it, he bluntly responds. "He cried out in-" He stops, another sound reaches his ears.

Only Dick responding to the Jokers laugh shocks him back into action. "The Jokers found him. I know where they are."

-PB-

Dick sits shaking in pain for a minute, not letting himself cry out again. He was the Boy Wonder, for crying out loud. He is not going to let some voice stop him.

Laughter seems to wrap itself around him, and Dick looks up into the Jokers face. He ignores the fear that’s threatening to devour him and fights his way through the pain to stand up.

"I've been looking for you." He speaks conversationally, using his anger to try to cover up the pain that laced itself into every word.

The clown smiles, as though he expected it. "You finally came to see your Uncle J. Should I go get Harley? We can have a big family reunion. Except the hyenas went off of vaca-"

"You can't get her." Dick interrupts his 'uncle.' "She's dead."

The Jokers smile fades away for a second, before it flashes back, bigger than before. "Who killed her?"

Dick feels his muscles losing strength, fighting against the pain in his brain in order to even stay standing. "I did."

The villain doubles over laughing, and wipes away tears. "You've never fit in better with this family, Boy Blunder." He turns serious again, and Dick almost wants to comment on his mood swings. "But how do I know you're not lying?"

"Because I'm alone even though my team and Batman are in the city looking for both of us." The pain in his mind increases again, but he manages to not stumble as he walks forwards. "And because I'll be alone when they find us." With those words he lunges forward and attacks. The Joker and Dick are evenly matched, and although Dick has pain racing through him, he has anger on his side.

The clown laughs as he gets hit in the chest, resulting in him getting knocked to the ground with multiple cracked ribs. "And where will I be, Robbie?" He struggles to stand up, failing when Dick's shoe holds down his neck.

"Dead." He growls. The top of the building shakes below him, causing him to lose focus on his kill long enough for the Joker to grab his leg and twist them out from under him. His head hits the ground and he cries out.

The Joker climbs on top of him and laughs into his ear. "How is your new friend? I designed him myself. Wanna know a secret?" The madman doesn't get a response other than squirming underneath him. "There's no cure."

Dick screams in anger and finally manages to push the clown off of him. The voice starts screaming at him as he forces himself to stand, making is so he can't hear anything else. He ignores that and the pain and goes to move forwards when a large arm wraps around his stomach and holds him back. 

-PB-

It takes Superboy and Kid Flash two minutes to reach the building. Two minutes during which they informed Batman, Robin, and the Team of Dicks location and they were told not to intervene until the dynamic duo got there.

Superboy lands on the roof, causing it to shake. He stands on the opposite side of the roof than the clown and his old teammate, and although the roof is empty neither of them notice him there.

He moves, out of instinct, to help Dick when the Joker pins him down, but suddenly Kid Flash is there, with a light hand on his arm to remind him to stay back.

Kid Flash flinches when Dick lets out a scream of anger at the clown and practically throws the larger man off of him. Both teenagers watch as Dick climbs to his feet, swaying and in pain.

The Joker keeps laughing, and Dick only manages take a step forward when Batman seemingly appears behind him and grabs him from behind. Dick struggles towards the clown as Robin knocks the Joker out with one kick to the head from behind.

After that everyone from the team jumps down from the bioship, which is hovering in camouflage above them. They all start asking questions, and Dicks eyes stay on the clown, though Superboy can feel his heartbeat way above normal pace despite his even breathing.

"Be quiet!" Batman growls, subconsciously tightening his hold on his son. He looks around at the team, noticing one distinct absence. "Where's Miss Martian?"

Zatanna steps forwards, opening her mouth to answer, when she's interrupted by Dick. "Shut up!"

Batman loosens his grip in shock and Superboy glares. "Stop. Please stop. Just shut up." Dick closes his eyes and Batman let's him sink to the floor. Wally rushes forwards and places a hand on his friends arm, trying to comfort him. Dick whimpers is response, and most of the team looks away.

"Fine. Fine I won't. I'll leave him alone." Superboy guesses with shock that he's talking about the Joker. _But why would the voice not want him to hurt the Joker?_ He looks at Batman, who is staring at Dick, his expression unreadable. The dynamic duo is standing off to the side, much like the clone of Superman, not knowing what to do.

"Then what do you want?" Dick whines, placing his head in hands and curling into himself. Wally pulled the smaller boy into his lap.

Dick grabs onto Wally, and finally they can see his face. Tear track are making their paths known down the sides of his face. "I can't." He whispers. "I won't."Dick let's out a scream, causing Superboy to flinch in pain, before he slumps forwards.

Batman jumps into action, grabbing Dick and disappearing. Robin follows suit, leaving the team to gather on the bioship to go back to the mountain.

Superboy can't seem to focus on anything but the unexpected pain he feels because of the way Dick was acting, but he can't help but notice the tear tracks down M’gann’s face. Tracks so similar to the ones Dick has.

-PB-

Dick wakes up in the darkness of the Batcave. He stays still for a second, fearing that the voice will show itself, before he sees a half empty vial near him. He assumes its the antidote and quickly he turns on the 24/7 news channel.

..the original Robin. Witnesses who saw him running around say they recognized the domino mask and the dark hair, and since the current sidekick was with the Dark Knight, it seems that the sidekick went rogue and killed the partner of the person who has hurt him so many times.

Quickly Dick shut it off and climbed his way out of the hospital bed and up to the Manor. The clock opened, revealing Alfred with his keys in hand. "Master Richard. Leslie has expected you to sleep the day away. Nonetheless, Master Jason is at school and Master Bruce is at work. I'm going to pick up the young Master, would you like to join me?"

Dick forces himself to smile. "No thanks Alf. I'm just going up to my room."

"Of course." The butler nods. "You need rest. I shall be back soon." Alfred walks past him and out the door without looking back. Dick takes his time going up the stairs to his room. 

Nearly ten minutes later he's sitting on his bed, staring at the door. He has his bag packed next to him, now he just has to find the courage to leave.

His outfit designs, his money, a few pairs of clothing. Nothing else is coming with him. Except for his phone, for one quick goodbye.

He grabs his back and makes his way out of his home. Once outside he starts running, knowing that Alfred will be home with Jason soon.

An couple hours outside of Gotham, his phone rings and he puts it to his ear.

"Dick Grayson. How might I help you?"

Jason growls through the phone. "Just what the hell are you doing, Dick?"

"I'm leaving, Jay. I can't stay after what I did."

"Bruce and Alfred can't lose you again."

"What about you?"

"I think that what you're doing is stupid and the past week was not your fault."

"Not my fault? Jay it was me doing everything, no matter what. They were my actions."

"It was stupid, Dick. This is stupider."

"I'm making this stupid decision on my own."

"You're making it because of the Joker."

"Okay, you know what? When the Joker tortures you and changes you're life, you can come talk to me about this."

With one smooth motion he hangs up the phone and shuts it down before leaving it on the bus, not worried that other people had heard what he said. 

This is Blüdhaven. People have heard weirder.


	13. Sick And Twisted Affair

**Sick And Twisted Affair  
My Darkest Days**

Bludhaven  
December 1st, 2012. 02:32EST

Nightwing places his eskrima sticks back into their holster and handcuffs the two thieves together. Standing up, he rubs a sore spot where one of them managed to get a lucky hit on his shoulder and groans. _That’s gonna bruise._

The hero almost flinches, half-expecting a voice to yell at him for getting hit. He shakes his head and flies up onto the nearest roof, looking for any more trouble. _It’s been over a year, and it was only in my head for a couple of days. You would figure I would be over it by now._

Deciding that he has done enough for the night, Dick makes his way to his apartment.

He slides in through his bedroom window silently, glaring at the light trailing in from his living room. _I know I turned that off before I left._ Grabbing his eskrima sticks, Nightwing moves to his door, which is thankfully still closed. Pressing his ear up against it, he can hear the muffled sounds of eating. After he listens for another minute, trying to get a better idea of who he is going to have to kick out of his house, Nightwing hears a familiar voice whine about Dick not having enough food.

Nightwing rolls his eyes and peels off his mask. Sliding his eskrima sticks back where they belong, Dick slowly opens the door and leans against the doorframe.

“I have enough food, I’m just not a speedster, and I wasn’t expecting guests.” He keeps his face emotionless as Wally jumps and swears at him, muttering something to do with ‘the stupid ninja bat thing’.

Calming down, Wally responds to him. “You had, like, four things to eat in the fridge. That isn’t enough food, even for you.”

Dick ignores the 'had', walking past the speedster on the way to the living room. “What do you want, Wally?”

Looking at Dick like it's obvious, Wally makes his way to the couch. “It's your birthday.”

Dick sits in a chair and blinks, checking his phone to check if Wally's right. _December first. I guess I'm sixteen now._ He looks into Wallys green eyes. “So?”

Wally throws his hands in the air. “Zatanna brought it up earlier and everyone wanted to see you, only nobody knew where you were. Well, nobody but Bruce and Jason.”

Dick flinches lightly at the easy tone used while saying his family's secret I.D.s, and he hopes Wally didn't see it. “They shouldn't want to see me.” He looks down at the floor, trying not to let his emotions leak through his voice. “I'm not the same thirteen year old boy that was on their team.”

A hand grabs his shoulder and he looks up on instinct. Wally is kneeling in front of him, looking him in the eyes with determination. “You're the same person, Dick-”

“No I'm not!” He snaps, standing up. “The only thing that is the same is this stupid body. I doubt the team would even recognize me.”

Wally stands with him, holding his shoulders and pushing him back into his chair. “You've changed, yeah okay. Everyone does that while they're a teenager. You're only two years older than you were when you were on the team, and you haven't changed as much as you think you have.” Wally paces the entire time he's speaking, stopping in front of Dick to look him in the eyes again. “You're still my best friend.”

Dick slumps forwards, placing his head in his hands. “How are you acting so normal? After all I did...”

Wally pulls Dicks arms away from his face and glares into his eyes. “No. What you did last year was not your fault, so stop blaming yourself. Blame the Joker, if you have to blame somebody.”

Dick glares back at Wally. “Blaming the Joker is what caused Harley's death.” He growls. “That was nobody's fault but mine.”

Wally sighs and leans away. “You're wrong, but you're incredibly bull headed, so I can't convince you. Fine, think what you want.” He stands, grabbing Dicks arm and pulling Dick up with him. “Come on, bird boy. We're going to the mountain.”

Dick lightly tries to pull his arm back. “Wally, they won't-”

“Dick, they're already waiting for you.”

-PB-

As the light from the zeta beam recedes around him, Nightwing stops in his tracks. He had known that there were new members of the team, of course, but he hadn't expected them and the rest of the team, without Conner, to be lined up for training with Black Canary in from of the zeta beam. He turns briefly to glare at Wally for not warning him, then faces the team.

Wally chuckles, running his hand through his hair. “Oops, did I forget to mention it was training time? Team building, and all that.”

“Dick!” M'gann squeals, flying forward and pulling him into a hug. “I've missed you!”

“It's Nightwing, Miss M.” Nightwing smiles lightly, pulling back from the hug. 

M'gann smiles and nods, floating a few feet in the air, a nervous habit she has yet to break. “Come on.” She says, pulling him by the arm towards the team. “Let me introduce you to the new team members.” She gets stops a few feet away from the line of people, all of which are staring at them, and points towards a girl with black hair. “That's Rocket. She joined about a year ago.” Rocket nods at him, and he returns the favor, sliding his face into an emotionless expression. M'gann points next to a young green boy who is looking up at Nightwing like he is a puzzle. “And you remember Garfield Logan. His mother was in a car accident and I've adopted him as my brother. He goes by Beast Boy, since he has my Martian morphing abilities.”

Garfield's eyes lit up with understanding. “You were the Robin that was on the team when they came to my house.”

Nightwing allows another light smile to grace his face and he nods. “It's nice to see you again, Gar.”

Garfield laughs and smiles, and M'gann points to the third new member. “This is Batgirl. She hasn't gone on any missions with us yet, but she's been training with us for a couple of months.” 

The familiar red hair causes him to smirk. “And I figured you would've been a part of the team since you started training with Batman.”

Barbara rolls her eyes at him, although most people can't tell. “I wasn't ready to work as a team, apparently. Bats said I was too headstrong.” She looks at Nightwing for a moment before launching herself forward and wrapping her arms around him. “He wouldn't let me come see you. I would've took it from the bat-computer, but he hid your location so I couldn't find it.” She whispers into his neck.

Nightwing hugs her back for a quick moment. “I'm sure he was just trying to protect you, Babs.” He releases her, and she takes a step back.

M'gann introduces a couple of other new recruits, but Nightwing stops paying enough attention to remember their names later. After he's acquainted with the new members, the old members step forward to say hello. Zatanna and Artemis hug him and Kaldur grabs his shoulder and tells him its good to have him back.

Robin walks up to him with a scowl and slaps him upside the head. “You're an idiot. I told you not to leave.”

Nightwing rubs his head. “Okay I deserved that. You knew where I live. You and Batman even came to visit that one time.” Robin scoffs and walks away, not bothering to hide his anger.

The silence that fills the room is replaced by two quick beeps. “My cookies are done!” M'gann exclaims, flying off in the direction of the kitchen with Wally right behind her. The rest of the team chuckles and follows them, leaving Nightwing and Black Canary alone.

Black Canary breaks the silence. “So, Nightwing. Isn't that from a story Clark told you?” She asks, walking towards him slowly.

“Yeah. I assumed he wouldn't mind.” He responds. “How is Clark doing?”

“He's fine. Everybody's doing fine.” She grabs his shoulder, and he winces in response. She switches her grip to the other shoulder. “We all miss you, Dick.”

Nightwing closes his eyes and looks away. “I'm know, Aunt Dinah. I'm sorry. I just-,” he pauses, taking a deep breath, “couldn't come back. I planned on never coming back. After what I did, I couldn't stand to face everyone.”

She opens her mouth, probably to argue with him, but seems to think better of it. “Conner is in the gym. He's been there since Wally told the team that he was going to bring you here.”

Nightwing looks at her, perplexed. “Why-”

“I know you.” She interrupts him. “You'll never get over what happened if you don't talk to him. Now, I am going to go up to the Watchtower and tell them all that you're here. That gives you about five minutes.” She walks away from him, asking him over her shoulder. “What happened to your shoulder?”

He shakes his head and looks at her retreating back. “I got hit. It's a bruise, nothing serious.” She nods at him, and he walks down the halls towards the gym as her zeta designation rings out throughout the mountain.

He can hear Conner punching the punching bag long before he makes his way through the doorway. He watches the clone for a second before coughing, signifying his presence. Conner stops mid-punch and looks at him for a second, before lowering his arm and sighing. “What do you want?”

Nightwing walks toward Conner, trying not to set the teen on edge. “We need to talk.”

“No we don't” Conner stands his ground, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “You killed a person and I drove you to it. Nothing to talk about.”

 _Killed a person. So Wally didn't tell anybody about the person before Harley._ “You drove me to it? Who told you that.”

“Nobody told me. Everybody talked about what would've happened if we had been nicer to you. And it was pointed out that I was the main one being mad at you.”

Nightwing sighs. “So you think they blame you? No, it was my fault, not yours.” Conner doesn't respond, so he continues. “I would've pushed you all away anyways.”

Conner looks at Nightwings mask, trying to see the eyes underneath. “You, Wally, and M'gann are the only ones that have told me it's not my fault.” He pauses, and Nightwing opens his mouth to respond, but he continues. “I need someone to blame. You say its your fault, but they both told me that it's the Jokers fault. So which is it?”

Nightwing thinks for a minute, trying to think of a proper answer. “I suppose you could blame both of us. I would like to say that it's all my fault, but I've been telling myself that for over a year and I'm not over the incident yet, so that doesn't seem like it's working. Wally says I 'wasn't myself' and that it's completely the Jokers fault, but I could still think for myself, so that's not completely true either.”

Conner huffs and steps away, glaring at him. “So I just blame _both_ of you?

Nightwing nods and looks down. “I guess we both have to blame both me and the Joker.”

Automatically, Conner corrects him. “The Joker and I.” Nightwing looks at him in shock, causing him to explain. “M'gann has me helping Garfield with his English homework.”

'Of course she does.” Nightwing chuckles. “Speaking of M'gann, I'm sure we could still grab a cookie or two before Wally finishes them off.” Conner gives him a small smiles and nods. As the two head out the door, the zeta beam goes off.

**Recognized: Superman 0-1, Batman 0-2, Wonder Woman 0-3, Flash 0-4, Green Arrow 0-8**

Nightwing leans his head back and groans, receiving a small chuckle from Conner. Guess it's time to say hello to his second family.


End file.
